Totti Tuesday: ‘The beggar, the Shakespeare & the condom’

Paolo Bruno

Just as an apple is good for your health, so is LaMela good for Roma’s health. If you don’t get the pun, buy an Italian dictionary. For the love of God, we’re talking about the most beautiful language in the whole world. Its capital: Roma. Home of AS Roma, Always Stuttering Roma.

After both the Udinese and Parma games, aka "A 3-0 lead! My kingdom for a 3-0 lead!", Palermo came to visit the Colosseo, Trevi, Piazza di Spagna where LE’s playing a homeless beggar (he did look like one at the end of his Roman career) and of course, the Olimpico. A win was needed. Not only for the boys in giallorosso, also for Zeman. Just know: if the Americans gave LE a whole season, then Zeman will only get fired if we get relegated in May. Anything else is bollocks. The media were mostly heating up the floor under Zeman’s feet while his relations with for example Daniele and Stekelenburg have never been all pink fluffy unicorns and all.

A win was needed, for calmness and confidence. For the fans at the Olimpico. For a bunch of overly attached and emotional fellas at the Chiesa. A win preferably with more than 30 minutes of Zemanlandia this time. And so it happened. Roma happened.


Palermo prejudice


I miss the days of KJ visiting the Offside, I really do. Bickering, arguing with no valid points whatsoever. One day Palermo will end higher than Roma in the standings. Yea right KJ, but that’ll probably be in Serie B if the Rosanero keep this up.
It wasn’t a full 90 min of Zemanlandia but they are getting close. The 4-1 (Ilicic) had to be, a result with a clean sheet is not Zemanlandia right? Hell, 4-2 or 4-3 would have really made my Sunday! (ok I’m exagerating). I enjoyed it, the players enjoyed themselves and there was some man love to be spotted after the goals. Lots of positives to remember from this game, from Marquinhos proving himself week after week to Destro finally breaking his duck (I’ll come back to that shortly) and Totti scoring goal number 219 in Serie A. But maybe THE thing I will remember is Goicoechea, the man with the sexiest family name alive and the reason why I inserted it in my Word dictionary. ‘What’s in a name’ Shakespeare once said.


Immediatly after the game, my first thought was: ‘goodbye Maarten’. Mauro has done nothing wrong in my eyes and as it goes with goalkeepers, you don’t always play your most expensive, known name and star player. No, you play the one you need right now. The one who doesn’t let you down and who might fit better in this team. I believe that Mauro, albeit being obviously less talented and a lot smaller than Stek, is that man. He will also concede goals but I never felt afraid or nervous when the Uruguayan was in goal Sunday, even though his Roma career existed of 45 Serie A-minutes until then. That’s saying something. If Zeman keeps playing Tachtsidis or Marquinhos for the sake of youth and faith, then he must do the same with Goicoechea. And Il Boemo will probably do so.


Right, Destro’s goal: maybe the most emotional of all four. I was so happy he scored and then he did an ‘Osvaldo’: he got sent off. It was 4-0 so it didn’t hurt the result but ut should not have happened. I only blame 10% of it on Destro though. The other 90%: FIGC. Or FIFA/UEFA in general. Why on earth do football players receive yellow if they undo their shirt while halfnaked beach volleyball players or wrestlers NEED to show off their bodies. They’re both sports, the show must go on. Yellow for a bit of nudity? Puhlease. We live in 2012, not the Middle Ages. Let the players wow the crowd and have some fun. There are far worse things to be seen in the daily newspapers, it's all sounds very prudish to me.


Ps: Mind you, I do agree that a player deserves a yellow card if there are harsh words/insults written on his undershirt but that’s an entirely different matter.


Pss: Why was Palermo’s no 89 wearing a condom on his head?

Awards


The Michael Konsel award: Goicoechea. Konsel was Zeman’s no 1 during his previous Roma stint. Michael was also on the short side and had more cat like reflexes compared to Doni’s butterfinger-moments. Have some more Mauro over here.


The Giuly award: Piris. Smallest Roma player on the pitch.


The random videoclip of Nicki Minaj award
: Destro. For creating a serious amount of WTF’s in under seven minutes.

Demolition Derby

Next weekend… well it’s is a bit special isn't it?. Why? Because the goats are coming. I wonder if they like ‘apples’ too. Grazie for reading and until next week!

"This side does play with sparks of fantastic football and now we just need consistency throughout the match. When results start coming in, then confidence will also grow. Zeman plays a very aggressive style of football, which is why the team also concedes a great deal. The fact that Roma’s games are entertaining to neutrals as well as our fans is positive and a good advert for football." – Claudio Fenucci, general manager of AS Roma, 2012.

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