Fun With Statistics

ROME, ITALY - SEPTEMBER 22: Luis Enrique the coach of AS Roma gestures during the Serie A match between AS Roma and AC Siena at Stadio Olimpico on September 22, 2011 in Rome, Italy. (Photo by Paolo Bruno/Getty Images)

It should be noted the photo system on this new platform is rather excellent, which is why you're about to get a lot of photos like Osvaldo's moobs being cupped and Luis Enrique losing his marbles in front of his imaginary gnome friend named Olaf XVI.

I've always wondered what they're doing on that tablet on the sidelines. My top speculation involves either face chatting with 12 year olds in Argentina - ... - or using the Italian edition of Wikipedia for the characteristics of the opposition.

Possibly, however, it's slightly complex than anything which can be edited real-time or will inevitably force Walter Sabatini to do real time. (Tactical analysis, video, etc.) Though the sport isn't quite receptive to statistical analysis yet, missing such requisite concepts as giving a @#$% or complete dorkery, I thought I'd fly through what little statistics I could find.

Nothing happened, obviously. Or: business as usual.

Goals conceded with Kjaer on the pitch: 10

Goals conceded total: 27

Percentage of goals conceded with Simon on the pitch: 37

Minutes played by Kjaer: 663

Minutes possible: 2160

Percentage of possible minutes: 31

You know....

Just buy him already.

PDO minutes per goal: 196

Borini minutes per goal: 150

Bojan minutes per goal: Stop it.

PDO mins per goal since November: 215

Borini mins per goal since November: 112

Bojan mins per goal since November: A better option would be seppuku.

PDO goals/SOG: 41%

Borini goals/SOG: 46%

Most games played: 21 (Maaarten, Pjanic.......Bojan Krkic.)

Passes: DDR, 1425 (Not, as you might expect, Gabriel Heinze.)

Offsides: 19, Osvaldo (#2? Lamela, with 7. And somehow, Gabby Heinze has managed to wander offside twice.)

Minutes per card: Kjaer, 133

Most minutes without a card: 1285, Angels. Which would be mildly impressive if he ever defended.

Apropos of nothing...

This was brought to attention way back on the other side. Apart from Rodrigo Taddei's utterly perfect bone structure, see if you notice anything:

22-02-2012_23-48_medium

Why yes, that's Fabio Simplicio positively drenched from the strain of being photographed.

Every team needs a token overweight Brazilian. It really just pulls it all together.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Chiesa Di Totti

You must be a member of Chiesa Di Totti to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Chiesa Di Totti. You should read them.

Join Chiesa Di Totti

You must be a member of Chiesa Di Totti to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Chiesa Di Totti. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9353_tracker