Roma Rumors! About Adults!

FLORENCE, ITALY - MARCH 23: Davide Astori of Italy during a training session ahead of their EURO 2012 qualifier against Slovenia at Coverciano on March 23, 2011 in Florence, Italy. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)
Pillaging Cagliari Trieste Who Knows

Ah, the internets. (Ah, the ah.) They are about to serve as the wind for the sails of my good ship Don't Admit You Remember That.

Rumors are somewhere between titillating enticement and something one does with or to their eyes - a roll, a gouge, etc. Giuseppe Rossi? The former. [Insert one in the parade of untested South American teenie boppers here.]? No comment.

Hot of the panini presses today is the Cagliari duo of Michele Canini and Davide Astori. I'm quite the fan of the latter and he'd be an excellent addition, probably 4.57318x better than Roma's best defender - run it across the line - at current. However, curious that Roma actually has a 'first option' on Canini. 'Scuse me - had. This was some time back in '06 or '07*, a spoutish comment from Massimo Cellino, the only kind he tends to make, but this handshake deal was negated when the Sensi family sold the club. Though it was probably negated when these words were flung from the mouth of Massimo Cellino. (I believe he retracted it years later anyway.) Nevertheless, would he be so kind as to honor his word anyway? Would current management see fit to install Rosella, Daniele Prade and the exhumed skeleton of Franco into temporary roles to get their man? We can only hope.

* - The link says 1970. Either Cellino's prescient or the internets were inaccurate for the first time in ever. Oh no.

Nonsense aside, it's quite smart to be going after Italian defenders with Serie A experience if true. Frankly, it should be the only option at this point. So should adding Luis Muriel to the list of opposing attackers needing to be bought then stashed in the catacombs for eternity, along with Antonio Floro Flores, German Denis, Massimo Maccarone, Takayuki Morimoto and Simon Kjaer.

Actual First Options

The aforementioned [Insert one in the parade of untested South American teenie boppers here.]

Options on:

Ezequiel Cirigliano.

Lucas Ocampos. (Mute.)

Neither is a new rumor, but it's nice to know if they're interested, all it takes is a check. Or Google Wallet. However the hell football clubs are paying for talent these days. If you believe FIFA agents, anyway. I don't.

You get the feeling Saba was always on the prowl setting up a good 'rapport' with the girls who were much younger, but would clearly turn into quite the desirable belles when of a socially acceptable age. It's a touch less creepy when it happens in football, but only slightly.

More Nonsense

i. Shocking news: Roma has interest in a young Argentine attacker, Manuel Lanzini. But this one plays for someone other than River Plate, Fluminense!

Oh wait. He's on loan from River Plate. Nevermind.

There is no reason, economic or sporting, not to buy River Plate itself.

ii. Luis' press conference is scheduled for 1130a local tomorrow. Bet he sits down the whole time.

Actually, he should stand up for the duration and sub in Tallo two-thirds of the way through, just to screw with people.

iii. Flamengo is becoming more and more interested in paying Juan's medical bills, with the increasingly infrequent appearance fee thrown in. Something about Old Yeller here.

iv. Jeremy Menez - yes, that one - is absolutely lighting up France these days. I suppose if you combine this with what Mirko has provided Juventus, the two wash out even and Roma lost about what you'd expect. That doesn't mean it stings any less, as Yeremy was the original Lamela: bought to watch his talent come to fruition, only to see it do so the year after he's sold. The two may be (likely are) connected, but if patience is the new regime's buzzword, Menez was the posterchild.

v. The Dirk Kuyt news/rumors/possible fabriation is spectacular, simply because Rodrigo will have a carpool buddy for beauty pageants.

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