Serie A-Wink-Wink, A-Nudge-Nudge

BERGAMO, ITALY - FEBRUARY 18: Pescara Calcio manager Zdenek Zeman looks on before the Serie B match between UC AlbinoLeffe and Pescara Calcio at Stadio Atleti Azzurri d'Italia on February 18, 2012 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)


What on earth could wake one out of a self-imposed Roman slumber? Attempted suicide by Zeman and a Laziale...well, being a Laziale. The two newsy bits are equally unsurprising, yet tantalizing enough to rise from 'neath the covers, scratch the eyes youthfully, yawn a big yawn and put on some big boy pants (optional - always).

I delight in the news of the "prospective" installment of Tobacco Industry Spokesman II by Tobacco Industry Spokesman I at some point in the next "3-4 days"*, at which he's hinted. I also delight in the thought of the Trigoria changing rooms turning gray in the next several months, with a two-tone jersey of tan bottom and white top with a suspicious little cowboy in the sponsor's area. I delight further in Maarten Stekelnburg's documentary-inspiring complete mental breakdown by October and the suspicious wet splotch on the slacks of whichever defender dares brave the field of battle. Lots of delight here.

The silly season finally gets good.**

* - Mmhmm.

** - Dependent upon *.

But I don't quite buy the comparisons with Luis Enrique, or the line that it's some sort of logical continuation, organic progression, because while the ultimate ambition is shared, one does so by making precise tactical maneuvers forty-eight miles from the crucial point of battle, whittling away at the outer defenses while the other is dive-bombing his whole squadron into the center of action, with several enjoying kamikaze status in the process. Now that's defending via the attack, and attacking done en masse, the way TGIP intended when he invented the football. (Happened.) The rest of it is a bit like apples and oranges. Or is apples and oranges. Both are fruit, and of vaguely similar shape, but.....

Well, Zeman met with Baldini this morning. That means something, obviously, unless, you know, it doesn't. My head's spun circles round the sun on a daily basis trying to keep track of even the headlines in my periphery, and I can't quite imagine what's it's been like in the trenches in AVB's trench. Bielsa, Zeman, Montella, Pellegrini, AVB, ya mutha, etc, etc, etc.

Just pick one already and let the shopping commence.

Speaking of shopping for things: Serie A results. If you haven't heard, the match-fixing scandal vacuum, the only thing in calcio that runs 24/7/365 aside Luciano Moggi's mouth, has hoovered a few new names. Most importantly: Stefano Mauri, captain of that other team. Given the game which seems to be in question is years in the past there's little chance it will impact next year's European places, it's too early to dream. But luckily, supporting Roma is equal parts cheering her (occasional...infrequent....rare) successes and delighting in the (frequent) failures of Lazio, thus this is still delicious.

I also know that if this is akin to paying prisoners under minimum wage simply because they're so thankful to have a job, I'll happily take one Domenico Criscito, please.

But at least we know one thing for certain: summer has officially begun, because each turn of the calcio calendar can only arrive once Lazio inevitably @#$%s up.

Good to see some things never change.

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