The Marco Borriello Sweepstakes

Roberto Serra - Getty Images

Oh, I'm Sorry - Is This Not Open Mic Night?

Why doesn't anyone love Marco Borriello?

Oh, right: B+ player; A+ contract. (F - - contract?)

The watch currently looks like this:

- Fiorentina wants a loan free of charge, plus sharing of the contract. Firenze is his fairest destination, and were he to halve his contract, it's simply his best fit. That's not going to happen.

- Genoa. Now that they's shuffling Alberto Gilardino off to Bologna (this man used to start for the Azzurri, remember, and he's now in his prime...), a spot has opened. Happy memories for Marco and Genoa. (This still qualifies as NC-17.) This seems like it coulda/shoulda/woulda/will happen.

- Roma wants to shove him off to lands unknown. (See: abroad.) Marco doesn't want this. Men of 25,000 goals get what they want.

My feeling is with his contract and the fact they will likely want to move Marco before grabbing anyone else, he's got them by the melons and will get his move within the peninsula.

At this point, it would seem Genoa is the most likely destination.

Quick Incoming: Replacing Bojan?

In roughly four seconds, Nico Lopez replaced Bojangles permanently. However, they will need bodies, which may come before the deadline tomorrow, or may be crudely plucked from the swarm suckling on Alberto De Rossi's teats. Until tomorrow, we can only speculate and alert the proper authorities.

Rumored Candidates:

- Giuseppe Rossi. Listen, he's a great player, but there aren't many worse ideas than running a player whose knees are held together by silly string and unicorn tears onto a Zeman-led team directly after they went into the pasta machine. Those worse(r) ideas all involve Ebola and a paraplegic donkey.

- Marco Sau. Cellino says no (at least via the agent), and he's the rarest of breeds: he's a batshit crazy Italian football club owner, yet he often sticks to his word regarding player transfers. Acquiring players who spent the last years in Serie A might also be beneficial at some point come late fall. Those are dwindling.

- Ezequiel Schelotto. Argentina-born and wielding an Italian passport. Were he under 20, Walter Sabatini would be in jail right now. I'm not entirely sure anything else is relevant.

My choice?

Marco Borriello, a time machine and a Kylie Minogue soundtrack.

And finally, there are also rumblings of Mattia Cassani - swap for Marco B. - Sebastian Jung and Vasilis Torosidis. I will be stupefied if any of the three come off. More likely is a Pjanic-esque deus ex machina ripped out of Sabatini's secret playbook.

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