Totti Tuesday: ‘Gossip Girl, Playstation & Jupiter’

Claudio Villa - Getty Images

The transfer market deadline day AND a game against Inter. I barely had time to breathe since Friday. In other words, bring on the tanks! Rumors, babbling, talking behind the back, comparing sexiness of players… I must warn you, this post looks a lot like Sex and the City and Gossip Girl combined. Male testosteron be afraid. All the others, please continue reading this post while sipping from your Cosmopolitan and giggling like a ten-year-old girl (which honestly, most Giallorosso on this blog are no?).

Conquistadores


The end of the Spanish inquisition in Rome. Conquistadores? I’ll take the Italian Carabinieri nine times out of ten.

• LE? Gone with the wind. After a not so good 2011-2012 campaign which back in August 2011 seemed to promising and entertaining. Fast forward to June 2012 and Roma has played a grand total of ten minutes Barça-football while we didn’t qualify for CL nor EL.

• Angel? Loaned/Shipped out to Sociedad after a very mediocre season at LB, losing his place to Taddei (!) of all people. Although he’s on loan, he’ll probably never play for Roma anymore. Besides, the LB is Balzac’s baby right now.

• Bojan? Admittedly, I was surprised with his move to AC Milan (A Chaotic Mess). Of all Spaniards, I thought he was the one who could actually make a name for himself at Roma. And until last week I still believed. But Bojan was never ‘fully’ ours. His move to Milan is a good thing for Barça. Milan play CL while Pato and Robinho had/have their fair share of injuries. I can imagine ex-Inter striker Pazzini is not an immediate fan favorit chez le Rossoneri so Bojan will see more minutes there than at Roma. It will all benefit Bojan’s market value in the end. Because c’mon, we would NEVER have payed an extra 28m in June 2013. Plus, we again save some millions on the wage bill. Plus plus, this means more sexy Lopez action and dentists who go in a coma after watching a Roma match.

Ps: I feel real shitty right now because of including Bojan in my Season Preview: Attack Edition. Thanks for the five minutes wasted energy… At least we’ve got our very own Drogba now.

Silly season shizzles

• Borriello gone to Genoa. As Borat would say: ‘Great succes!’ Although I can imagine a lot of female fans in Rome ready to invade Trigoria. In their eyes, letting both Bojan AND Borriello go while keeping Lopez and Taddei is like flirting with Hugh Hefner while ignoring a halfnaked Ryan Gosling in your bedroom. Or in men’s terms: selling an Audi R8 while you keep driving a Ford Ka. Or in gamer’s terms: keeping a Dreamcast while selling your Playstation 3. Anyway, you get the picture.

• Goicoechea. I don’t know what Zeman will do with Goic%|@§~=ea. He’ll start as third choice behind Lobont and Stekelenburg obviously but don’t be surprised if he actually starts a match around November and stays no1 until May.If Zeman is impressed during trainings, he’ll have no problem in putting Stek and Lobont on the bench.

schmInter

Zemanlandia chapter two. An even better chapter than the Catania one. First win in the San Siro since 2007. The way Zeman walked away after the last whistle says it all: LIKE A BOSS. What did Roma do after the 1-2? No scary possession football, no overconfidence, just pick up the damn ball and score another one. Like a boss. Damn entertaining, pure fun and I saw a lot of effort of the team. Plus the obliged bullshit goal of the week: last week Osvaldo, this week it was Marquinho’s turn. Also a special mention for the CB partnership of Burdisso-Castan. A Brazilian and an Argentine. Crocket and Tubbs is no more, we have our very own Samuel-Juan 2.0.
And we all did it with a team with an average age of a ‘It’s a small world’-visitor (Disneyland Paris).
The team enjoys his style, the fans even more. Such a shame we have an international break coming on, this stuff is addicting as hell. This is gonna get repetitive if I have to praise Zeman every single week. Now excuse me as I’m starting the search for my underpants, they should be somewhere in between Mars and Jupiter right now. Let’s shift our attention to our weekly awards:

The Dellas award: Tachtsidis. For being one mean Greek fighting machine. I really dig the Kratos nickname (See what I did there? Providing a link between PS3 and Kratos in this post? Nobel Prize stuff).

The Mexes award
: Osvaldo. The guy has seen more red in 28 Roma games than hundred woman having their periods in one room (at the same time). The second yellow card was harsh but I hope Zeman addresses Osvaldo’s temperature on training. You don’t get a red card when the score is 1-3 in your favor. Luckily he will only miss Bologna and not Juve or Lazio so I forgive him. Besides, who doesn’t want to see an attack of Lopez-Destro-Totti against ex-companions Curci and Marco Motta?

The De Rossi award: Florenzi. Promising tireless midfielder, knows how to score a goal, born and bred Romanista, former Primavera player, set to pen a contract extension to seal his future in Roma? Five times check. Will the legacy continue after Totti and the real DDR? Time will tell but Florenzi’s here to stay, that’s certain. As Totti flourished under Zeman fourteen years ago, so could Flo Rida today.


“Before selling him we would have thought long and hard about it. De Rossi is a different kind of player to everyone else because of his characteristics, for what he can offer in the future.” – Claudio Fenucci, chief operating officer of AS Roma

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