Totti Tuesday

Alex Livesey

And now for something completely different...

Famous line. Not only said by the genious ensemble of Monthy Python but also me, trying to surprise my girlfriend before sexy time with a six feet cactus, a cardboard of Robbie Williams and something long, hard, shiny, pink and mostly opaque. Which I will not dwell on any further gentlemen.

Right, something different. No awards, no crazy review, no bitchslap of the week, hell maybe even no typical Roman quote at the end (I’ll decide later on, just to keep the suspense around). Just a simple, small columnish text of me and the world I live in through giallorosso glasses, the original idea for Totti Tuesday btw. And boy, those glasses are a damn fine pair of Borriello-worn Ray-Ban’s nowadays.

The catwalk

To start: I want 100 points this season. Nothing more, nothing less. Reason? Roma. Expect the unexpected. We could see our winning streak end in Inter, we may as well get hammerd 0-3 by Sassuolo when they come visit the Olimpico in November. Keep the momentum going I would say. It isn’t always nice but we’re no Miss Universe like Barca or Bayern. We can’t play dominant for 30+ games per season.Yet. We were Miss Italy at best during Spal’s regime and Miss Geordie Shore the last couple of season (alcohol, lots of). Right now, Roma’s slowly getting back in beauty contest business but the loss of Maicon is a huge letdown, like a huge pimple just before you have to go on the catwalk. You can make it but it’s gonna get ugly on the road.

- Obligatoire moment of inner joy because Benatia chose us during Summer Mercato 2013 -

It was important to immediately keep up with the wolf pack for our European race, just imagine Roma started the campaign like the previous two seasons. We would already be facing an eight point difference with the rest (hello Milan). Not now. Better yet, Roma can even afford a draw or loss here and there and still stay be in the top five. Let’s just not make a habbit of that ey Rudi? Next three stops are Inter, Napoli and Udinese. Let’s see how RR (Rudi’s Roma) fare against tougher opponents (Lazio? Chi?). FYI, I still want those damn 100 points.

- Obligatoire moment of silence for the fallen Roma star Lamela in Tottenham –

The horror

Ok, let’s continue. I want to play a game (no, it’s not SAW where you have to cut your own wrists, chew on your partners eyeballs, use your penis to unlock a wooden door full of splinters or publicly ask for a Claudio Della Penna t-shirt in a crowded official AS Roma store. This is a game where all you readers can be part of. And it goes like this:

In one of the previous posts, I saw a mispelled word. Someone on CDT (I forgot the name, pardonnez-moi cher ami) typed Team of the Weak instead of Team of the Week. Now, I thought it would be nice if we all could post our starting 11 of most horrible AS Roma players, in whatever formation you like. Keep it real though, no 2-1-4-1 freak shows. Honest formations with real-life people (who suck yes but still are real-life). Here’s my shot at it, enjoy…. Or you know,…. Don’t enjoy and hide in your closet. It’s pretty bad IMO, can you do better?

4-4-2: Eleftheropoulos (GK)– Xavier (RB) Rodrigo Defendi (CB) Vidal Martinez (CB) Antunes (LB) - Virga (RW) Barusso (CM) Faty (CM) Adriano (LW, duh)- Mido (CF) Zarineh (CF)

Hey, at least Loria scored against Juve, Pit gave us a magical win against Siena and Wilhelmsson had a nice WAG right? Start the horror show people! And see you next week!

(Alright I couldn’t resist: )


“The nickname Capitano Futuro is now becoming a sentence. Given what has happened I’ll have to wear the vice-captain armband forever! The only thing I ask of you, captain, is to keep on winning. Congratulations on the renewal, Francesco.”
– Daniele De Rossi, 2013

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