Totti Tuesday (Anniversary Edition!): ‘The marriage proposal, the hangover & Batman’

Paolo Bruno

March 27, 2012. My first Totti Tuesday. ‘The kids are alright, Giuseppe Scurto & Sangria’. God, has it been one year already? Time flies, kingsdom come and go, boys become men. But looking back at that Tuesday 27th of March, this testosterone-filled man became a little boy once again after he fulfilled one of his childhood dreams: Sharing his Roma passion and knowledge with fans all over the world, via Church. La Chiesa.

This is my 48th post (I took a break in Winter). Some of you who followed my Totti Tuesdays since the beginning, might have noticed a couple (a lot actually) changes, both in writing style and lay-out. It has truly been a magnificent journey for me to weekly inform, entertain and even sexually arouse each and every single one of you through words and dull Youtube videos. As weeks go by and thanks to this blog, I feel myself developping into not only a better writer but also a better tifoso. To experience the passion, commitment and dedication of fans around the globe on a front row is amazing and a huge source of information for my posts. After all, Totti Tuesday wouldn’t be the same without its readership and witty comments below. Grazie. Now stop it, you childish offsprings from Satan! (just kiddin’)


To recap the last 365 days, I’ll go full Back to the Future mode and relive the top 3 moments of my short but sweet CdT-career up till now. A little trip down memory lane.

First, my honorable mentions: Totti surpassing Nordahl, the rise of Marquinhos, Italy-Germany at Euro 2012 and every minute Goicoechea played this.

3) Zeman Jitters


What hasn’t been said or written about the Czech? His appointment brought tears in the eyes of older Roma fans. Zeman was( is) a household name in Rome. Coached both Lazio and Roma, charisma, entertainment, doesn’t-give-a-fuck-mentality, rebels against the powerful North… And he nurtured Totti into the fine football player he is today. Admittedly, I barely knew him because I’m a fairly young (24) tifoso but what I saw in the comments section and on Youtube made me smile. Nostalgia was key here. At the time, a smart PR-move from the management, only to directly hit them back on the head like an iron boomerang thrown by Chuck Norris on steriods and Red Bull. Zeman got fired after the 4-2 loss in Cagliari on February 2nd.


I planned to make some sort of love letter but I let the idea slip away. Why? Because:
• I’m not THAT into 65-year-old creepy-looking men.
• It would just turn into another emotional, corny and boring plea. Too much has been said or written, both good and bad things. No need to put salt in wounds.

You know, sometimes it’s not bad to look forward and forget the management’s flaws for one day. Yes fault were made (be it appointing Zeman in the first place or showing him the door) and hindsight would have been helpful. Alas, the suits, like us, are merely humans and humans tend to make mistakes ever since they populated earth. But if one can learn from the past, why wouldn’t we be hopeful for the future? It’s time to look forward, just like the players and the management did and make that final push for Europe. From time to time though, it doesn’t hurt standing still and looking back over our shoulders, acknowledging the passion and love of some people for this club, including Il Boemo (damn it, this does kinda look like a love letter, fail).


Zdenek featured heavily in my weekly blog from June until February, that’s eight months or 31 Totti Tuesdays (I counted them). Or 310 391 bad puns about cigarettes. Therefore, his second spell at Roma earns him third place. Zeman was quickly replaced by Aurelio Andreazzoli, assistant coach in Rome since 2005. The rest, as you know, is history.

2) Offside Exodus

February 18, 2012. Chris’ last post on The Offside. Named after the most difficult rule in sports history. I’ll marry the first woman who explains offside plainly and correctly to me, including a diamond ring. After The Offside, I found myself in a pretty uncertain and unfamiliar place, even though I’m a Christian: church. It had a Pope (SB Nation, head of church), a priest (Chris) and manic followers. It had its own God (Totti). It even had a soft spot for young boys (Sabatini) just like in real life. But still, this Church was different than the others.


I visited some blogs about AS Roma in the past. The very first one was www.asroma-addict.com, back in the early 2000s. I really got the whole ‘comment, share and post’-vibe at The Offside. I loved that place and to be honest, although merely some digital numbers on a screen, it really hurt to leave the environment after so long. Boy, was I wrong. It wasn’t the end, it was only the beginning for this little Belgian fellow. Because La Chiesa was getting crowded and the priest needed henchmen at his side, just like James Bond villains (and even after 23 movies they still manage to fail). Those henchmen were chosen democratically by the followers. Grazie again guys for giving me that opportunity back in March 2012. I will never forget it. Later that month, Totti Tuesday was born. The rest, as you know, is history.

1) Rome Romance


Somebody pinch me. Because every time I write down Rome, I can’t help but up retrieve old memories of my city trip back in July 16-20. Firmly at number one on my bucket list, visiting the Eternal City was a childhood dream. Ever since July 21, I want to return to Rome ASAP but just like in relationships, skinny dipping or hangovers, the first one is and will always be the most special.


For more info about my trip: I dedicated one of my older TTs (or titties as I sometimes call ‘em) to Rome. You can find that post here. The cold divine ice cream and hot Italian chicks helped me integrate into the Roman life as well as a nice little official AS Roma shop on Piazza di Montecitorio, close to my hotel. I haven’t seen everything in Rome though, like Trastevere and the gardens of Villa Medici. Ow and witnessing an actual Roma game at the Olimpico would be awesome too.


Standing on a bridge over the Tevere (Ponte Duca D’Aosta to be exact, thanks Google Maps), beholding the Stadio Olimpico in the sun wearing my Roma cap. Hands down my most beautiful moment of 2012. And a lesson to all young football fans out there: never be afraid to support a team you love, even though it’s miles away from your house. You’ll get the chance to visit it eventually. Go for it, dare to dream big and make history.

Bitchslap of the week


Prandelli. For giving Osvaldo the no10 jersey of the Azzurri. Such an insult to players like Baggio, Totti, Del Piero and Rivera. Although Ozzy himself thinks otherwise. Maybe he can lend Balotelli’s Why always me? -shirt.

Patiently paving the way for Palermo


Now bring on Palermo, aka the Zamparini-nuthouse, where managers are treated like dirty dirt, unnecessary Christmas gifts or drunk, ugly, homeless guests at a posh party. And at the helm of all that, the biggest triggerhappy man in the world. To quote a scene from Batman Begins: ‘So when did the nut take over the nuthouse?’


What will the future bring for Totti Tuesday? Who knows. I hope to continue this dream for as long as I may, unless Chris kicks me out of la Chiesa because of swearing, downloading porn or smuggling nude Borriello pics inside, that stuff’s addictive. Anyway, here’s to another 48 posts and another magical year for Giallorossi. Enjoy! But hold on to that pillow and keep those alcoholic beverages close, just in case.

"Totti would be an added bonus of great quality that in a competition like the World Cup can make a big difference. Seeing Totti train every day you’d think he was still a kid. When Francesco puts an idea in his head, he achieves it. Now that he is 36 years old, he knows how to train in order to be more effective and you can see the results." – Bruno Conti, 2013

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