Shall we? We shall. Just twenty-four hours after first mention of a possible deal with Toby Alderweireld, all sources seem to indicate he is, at the very least, Roma's if they want him, if not already on the way. Maybe true, maybe not. Who cares. There are YouTube videos. Everybody loves YouTube videos.
Ten million or thereabouts will get you some Toby, who follows Panagiotis Tachtsidis as this year's, "Don't you #$%$ing sign another person with a name over seven characters" player man person. Obviously this could be simply the first move in filling the first void due from the AS Roma Contract Dump Class of 2013, headlined by Nico Burdisso, also due to include Rodrigo Taddei and Simone Perrotta. They'll be attempting to have Marco Borriello graduate early as well, but he's in the back of class in his badass leather jacket, picking up all the chicks and not giving a damn what anyone things, so chances are low there.
YouTube highlight videos for judging players are rather useless. Match videos on YouTube, however, are not. There are a slew of them for Toby, likely a result of being linked to Liverpool and Tottenham, so thanks for doing the heavy lifting. Instead of picking out his best moments, they grab his interactions within the match and it is a far more effective barometer of, well, his.
And though it's not needed again, here's his scouting report: he's no Marquinhos, but he is a good defender, while also able to sling the ball out of the back like he's a bonus regista. Superb feet for a central defender, and though he can play on the right - the same versatility seen out of fellow Ajax alums Jan Vertonghen and Thomas Vermaelen - he's definitely better in the middle. The one way in which he is similar to Roma's current pairing of Castan and Hos is that he's agile and athletic for a CB; definitely not your old school, out-muscle-and-out-jump-your-opponents-only type. And if I'm correct - someone with deep knowledge all things Ajax will have to correct me if not - he began his career with Jong Ajax as a DM. Fluid tactics and all that.
(And no, you're not alone in thinking these rumors have Walter Mazzarri's three-man defense in mind. Toby would be central, flanked by Marquinhos on the right and Castan on the left, and able to launch that utterly ruthless attack. Dreams...)
There are also rumors Roma's in for Ricardo van Rhijn, the man who sits to Toby's right. Maybe they're getting a bulk deal. Maybe grab Christian Eriksen too then?
But whatever happens, just please, please pick up Kenneth Vermeer, and then livestream Maarten Stekelenburg's face when they announce the signing. For the love of all things comedy.