News Nuggets: Because It's Better Than Forgetting With Alcohol

Michael Regan

Not really, it's just that we're in an hour which is socially inappropriate to be Roma-level sauced.

So did you hear the big managerial news of the day? It's taking over the internets. Absolutely blinding stuff - Laurent Blanc couldn't agree with Roma because they "weren't on the same wavelength". Ain't that just crazy? Of course it's complete bullshit: not being on the same wavelength with a coach has never stopped Roma from hiring someone before. Clearly there's more to this story than meets the eye.

Oh, and some old guy in England retired. Somehow that's news. Isn't that what 71 year olds are supposed to do?

Chievo was a mess best to be forgotten, and it would appear Roma's gone about helping us forget. Not by handing out little nips of alcohol, which many would probably appreciate, but a little nip of Belgian central defender: heavy rumors circulating Roma's signed Toby Alderweireld from Ajax for the rumored price of eight million euros or thereabouts. This fills the heavily-tattooed central defender niche Philippe Mexes left nearly two years ago now. So long as it's true and Toby stays away from space mullets, all will be well.

But if true, it's less of a signing and more of an indication Roma plans to continue on with its Brand Aesthetic Roma movement of not only winning, but playing the pretty, pretty football. Or trying to, anyway. Alderweireld is a very good central defender, sure, but he has an excellent ability to move the ball out of the back and play with the ball at his feet. Something of a passing ability like, on a good day, Simon Kjaer. In other words, this is precisely the type of signing one would expect when Luis Enrique was inked. Or is returning.

Breathe. And breathe. It's going to be alright.

Anyway, nightmares notwithstanding, this likely also means the imminent departure of Nicolas Burdisso, who alternates between carcass and "Oh, well maybe he's not finished! Yay Nico!" almost on a weekly basis. Unless they're stocking up on central defenders because there's a certain 80's-coifed jacket-thrower with a rigid philosophy based on all things three-back defense on his way to to Rome via Napoli...

Or maybe Alderweireld's just a good defender and Roma needs good defenders and good players right now. Of course as you well know this deal will be off and on more times than an epileptic at a light switch, until he either signs or comes out and says he's never even heard of Roma because Walter Sabatini never really loved him. Don't we all wish we hadn't.

Welcome to silly season. Sadly, it's better than the real season.

Mazzarri

Curiously, the final match of the season is Napoli against Roma, after which Aurelio De Laurentiis will sit down with Walter Mazzarri, in Rome, and attempt to decide his future. It's rather convenient, because Walter can just sort of sit down at a nice cafe and say, "Eh, I don't feel like moving. I'll just stay here. Call Baldini."

The good news is a decision should be rather quick. The best news is he's definitely bringing Gokhan Inler. Because I said so. (Don't make me beg.)

There was a genuine discussion regarding which players Mazzarri might drag with him to Rome should he sign and the list was decidedly short. Or rather empty.

Mancat

Monaco and Zenit both want Bogdan Lobont.

You stay away from him. He needs to be in Rome to christen the new Stadio Bogdan Lobont.

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