Toronto FC, Canadia & The Gervinho Gar

USA TODAY Sports

Oh, Canada. Sorry. Sorry.

I love Canada. Love. Sometimes I...err...j'adore it. I'd like to move there, spawn a moose and adopt a wild child. Or maybe it's the other way around. Oh, and Tim Horton's! Well...no, I can't do that. But Tim Horton's! (Am I in yet?) Though I do question the border patrol. The amount of times they stopped a college kid in a Saab sporting mostly Brooks Brothers - hey, I was young and unschooled - looking like he'd just sauntered in from the [insert social club of your choosing here] leads me to believe they don't have a damn clue what they're looking for. But three cheers for Canadia. Everybody loves Canadia.

Roma's there. I don't know why. There's probably more money to be made somewhere else in the States, since a cash grab seems their entire intent. Hell, fly to Vegas and put Borriello up for auction as an escort. They might not be able to trigger Messi's buyout clause, but they could at least come away with Cesc. Nevertheless, Toronto it is against Toronto FC. I know two things about that club, both of which may or may not still be relevant: Torsten Frings and Danny Koevermans. (Googling...one for two. I'll take it.) The rest...ummm....Canadia!

Actually, there's a rather legitimate reason this friendly shouldn't be taking place: Toronto is in the middle of their season. As in...they had a league game on Sunday and they have another on Saturday. The former was away, in Bostonish. This seems absurd and the type of move Milan would pull in Dubai in February because they're Milan and occasionally, they do stupid stuff like that just because.

Although Toronto is well out of contention for the Final Series and hey, maybe some Roma friendly money will serve them well. I don't know.

On the Roma front...

  • Maicon can officially play for Roma now, a non-EU slot having been opened in one of those very, very, very Italian we're-going-to-sign-a-shitty-non-EU-player-then-sell-him-to-Belgium-or-Spain-no-seriously-this-is-legit-and-oh-look-at-that-a-non-EU-slot-opened-up. Mmhmm. So that's nice. Still expect Torosidis to start.
  • Osvaldo likely will not play, but Borriello has rejoined the team, v-neck below his crotch and all. (Bless him. It was also sweet of Marco, DDR, and Federico to snap a photo with the busboy desperately attempting to grow facial hair.) Basically, if Tallo starts again, there is roughly a 0.4% chance Marco Borriello will play another competitive minute in a Roma shirt. Ever. And he deserves some respect for the professional way he's gone about this treatment - it's kind of ridiculous and very Stekelenburg-esque.
  • Gervinho will not be joining Roma in North America, so there's no chance he features Wednesday or in . You know what goes here.
  • Thus the lineup is reported to be: De Sanctis; Torosidis, Benatia, Castan, Balza; Florenzi, Pjanic, Strootman; Lamela, Borriello, Totti.

Two announcements:

a. There's been a request from on high that all links to illegal streams be removed from our sites, including those posted in the comments. We'll comply. Any links will thusly be deleted from here on out.

It was a good run.

2. It took awhile but two new contributors from the lengthy help wanted monologue have been approached and both accepted - the first two of perhaps more (we'll get there). I also had to be talked out of asking roughly twelve people. Alas. Intros in the coming days.

This means two new authors and two new people to post photos. Which means the introduction of the Gervinho Gar™. In keeping with good taste, there will be a small fine for any of us who posts a photo featuring an unobstructed view of Gervinho's hair or Gervinho wearing street clothing that says @$%&ing Gervinho on it. The forehead? Okay. Rough pull of the genetics lotto. It happens. But the hair-blinds coiffure? That shit is a choice and completely unforgivable. If you want to support him as a Roma player, that's fine and wonderful. But not the hair. No one needs to see that. Small fine with the money to be tallied at the end of the year and donated to whatever portion of Marco Borriello's wages they're still paying. Or something. The idea, of course, is no one gets fined and your tender vision is saved.

God I miss 2007 Philou.

Match: Wednesday, 2000 (8p) local/Toronto, 0200 CET.
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