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A Giallorossi Christmas List

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funnysanta05.jpgMy gift list to Santa this year was very short (I don't need anything, and please, for the love of God, don't buy me clothes), but I wonder about the players. Say each of the Roma fellas were allowed one gift for Christmas, what would they ask for? Let's take a stab at this.

Alexander Donieber

FocusFactor & Lithium.

Gianluca Curci

A fast forward button.

Carlo Zotti

A left testicle.

Julio Sergio Bertanoglio

Enough playing time to get down to one moniker.

Christian Panucci

A good, upstanding young woman who doesn't do nudie calendars.


Cicinho

A season-ending injury to either Panucci, Cassetti or Spalletti's brain.

Marco Cassetti

An Azzurri recall. (All in favor? Aye.)

Juan

A role in the Brazilian remake of Magnum P.I., because that stache is freakin' awesome.

Philippe Mexes

All he wants for Christmas are his two front teeth. His two front teeth. His two front teeth.

Matteo Ferrari

Welfare checks.

Marco Andreolli

Stem-cell research.

Max Tonetto

Just For Men hair coloring.

Vitorino Antunes

For every game to be a meaningless Champions League match.

Daniele De Rossi

For Roberto Donadoni to either be fired or get a clue. (Former more likely.)

Alberto Aquilani

A nice, smooth rub down for his groin. And some elasticity. But mostly the first one.

David Pizarro

A wallbanger of Ludovic Giuly.

Ahmed Barusso

A time machine so he can go back to B.C. days and fight in the Colosseum, where he belongs.

Matteo Brighi

A lifetime supply of Bubblicious.

Mancini

A hooker. A hooker who deals Prozac.

Rodrigo Taddei

To play every game against Cagliari.

Mauro Esposito

A one way ticket back to Sardinia.

Ludovic Giuly

Miracle-Gro.

Adrian Pit

A pet snake named Chivu.

Simone Perrotta

A pair of Totti's boots. The golden edition.

Francesco Totti

For Philou to reciprocate.

Mirko Vucinic

For Lega Calcio to allow him to wear the Montenegren NT shirt for Roma so he can score 75 goals in 2008 January.

Luciano Spalletti

For Roberto Mancini to shut the fuck up already.

Rosella Sensi

A room on the sun and some SPF Bacon Grease suntan lotion.

Daniele Prade

For Max to go down so he can finally take over that LB spot.

Me

One of each.