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A Potpourri Of Useless Flapdoodle

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Chivugate:

Who cares. Wake me up when it's over.

There are reports that Barca has withdrawn a lot of their interest and that Real Madrid has come in with a €15m + Cicinho bid (others report straight cash). I don't think it's true. But if it is, and Roma turns that down, I'm going to do something very very drastic. And I'm pretty sure at this point a plea of insanity would fly through, as it would for any Roma fan.

Roman Nuggets:
I)
It appears Roma is still in the race to sign Brazilian phenom Ederson, despite a severe paucity of rumors as of late. A Nice newspaper is reporting that Lazio and Roma (Valencia and Lyon are also involved) are duking it out over which side will take him back to Rome, and Nice are holding out for at least €11m to take home the kitty. That's a steep number for both clubs, and if I had to predict which would win out, I would unfortunately go with Lazio. Let's hope Roma gets real smart real quick and offers €11.000.001 to take down the next Juninho, Kaka, Ronaldinho, Pele, Zizou, Jesus of Nazareth, Winston Churchill, Julius Caesar, Gandhi, and Tony the Tiger.

It would seem that he is the replacement target for Fabio Quagliarella, even though he is based more in the center of the pitch. This is one case where it would do well for Roma to suck it up, forget negotiating and splash some cash - €11m is very fair. It's said he takes set pieces like Juninho and has on the ball skills similar to Kaka, which would make him Zizou. He's not that good, but he's still very young. I'm still convinced they'll make one fairly expensive move, this could be it. Doubt it, but it could be.

* - For the financial/competency naysayers, a big move has little to do with Rosella or Prade and everything to do with Spalletti. I can't think he'll be too happy to lose one of his world-class defenders at the expense of a salary cap, as he's hinted (some less subtle than others) at it in quotes in recent weeks. After the merry-go-round at manager a few years ago, I think Rosella will do almost anything to keep him around (see: Pizarro), and may be forced to use some of that Chivu cash for an acquisition - much to her chagrin. Let's face it, if Roma makes practice of offering capped contracts to stars and selling them off with lesser talent in return, Luciano is walking. He deserves better than that, he is a fantastic tactician.

II) I'm getting really irritated by looking through various French sights for info about Julien Faubert or Ederson and when I see Roma in the headline getting all excited only to find out it's actually talking about Flavio Roma. I can't wait for this transfer season to be over so I can go back to pretending France doesn't exist.

III) Whaddya know? The Cicinho to Roma rumors have picked back up - even apart from the whole Chivu situation.

I still think he winds up in Rome. I don't know how, I just do - and I think he is perfect for this squad.

IV) Remember those Roque Santa Cruz to Roma rumors a month ago? Where the hell did they go? He's good, he's cheap (well, he was) and he's really versatile. Oh, and he scored a hatty last night in the Copa. It's not a deciding factor, I've always been a big fan, but would somebody at least tease me?

V) Reports are stating Mauro Esposito was in Rome for a physical yesterday and will likely be introduced to the world as a Roman next week. Of course Roma will probably release a public refusal in about 3 hours.

The Flapdoodle:
I) Roma is a collective group of 4 year olds.

How could anyone not want to join Roma? Post-practice consists of milk & cookies and naptime. I wish I could have Spalletti around to celebrate the mundane daily rituals in my life. Like going bonkers whenever I brush my teeth or take out the trash. Or giving me a slap on the ass as I'm about to turn in for the night.

(Something tells me Chivu is going to be hugely missed in that locker room.)

II) Before Cicinho became essentially a forgotten man in Madrid, he was lighting up Brazil from the right flank. His days at Sao Paulo were awesome, and I'd never realized how truly two-footed he is. The requisite video to start back up the bandwagon.

III) Alright, this video may be slightly inappropriate, but it's off the wall hilarious. Warning: Probably NSFW and possibly offensive to the ladies (sorry) - but I was actually shown this video by a girl.

And for the fellas, have this video on queue sometime and when your wife/gf/whatever is changing start up the chorus. Then start running. Trust me, it's worth it. Even if it makes you seem 12.

IV) The Gift Corner:

For the French cuff people in the crowd, one of the coolest cufflinks I've ever seen. I'm a huge fan, though I do admittedly have a wrist accessory problem. As in I buy way too many watches and cuff links. I'm going to hold off on purchasing these for now, because my birthday is coming up and I have a bad track record of buying myself something 3 days before and then getting it as a gift. Oops.

So, if anyone's reading this who might, you know, want to get me a birthday gift or something, like maybe somebody I know or that maybe I might see on a regular basis, ummm, or maybe even wake up next to, they could be a cool birthday gift. (Yeah, that's you. Get these for me. That watch I mentioned, too. Thanks)

* - The men in my family have a little contest going on in terms of cuff links right now. I picked up a set of double pearl beauties before the last family gathering only to be upstaged by my uncle, who had a couple old lira coins custom made into links. Isn't that dirty? How am I supposed to compete with that? I'm reaching out to you for help. Anybody have any ideas?

V) Zlatan's Corner

Quote of the week:

On his move on Stephane Henchoz of Liverpool:
"First I went left, he did too. Then I went right, and he did too. Then I went left again, and he went to buy a hot dog."

And the subsequent video. Absolutely disgusting move.

This probably should've been the first Zlatan movie I linked to, but better late than never. Apparently this was a huge deal in Sweden. Would somebody get him out of Milan?

VI) It's not often that you find quality highlight videos of defenders, but this one is pure quality. There aren't too many 25 & under defenders I'd rather have than Philippe, if any. I'd gladly take another year long mercato embargo if it meant acquiring another Mexes. Unfortunately I don't know if there are anymore out there.

It's Philippe day. This one includes a goal he scored against Stoke City. Obviously.

Philippe the fashionista. (Yes, this is a not-so-subtle attempt at making up with the women for the ct video)

Three words: Philippe fat suit. (1:00 mark)

* - Apologies as I'm not really on my game today. I've got an intranostril laceration. In other words, I managed to get a paper cut inside my nose and it's driving me fucking crazy. This has to be one of the most annoying things I've ever experienced. Don't ask how it happened, I have a gift. I'll get the hair matchup out at some point a little later. I've got a very busy day ahead, so it might be awhile.