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Liveblog: AS Roma v Real Madrid

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Ladies, gents, bushmen and scallywags, the day is upon us. Associazione Sportiva Roma takes on The Guys From Spain Who Win Stuff back at the home fortress. First round of the Champions League knockouts on a glorious Roman Tuesday evening. It may very well be a magical night, but hide the women and children, it's time for i Lupi to come out and play...

The news of the day is that the Legend in the Made, Daniele De Rossi, will be suiting up much to the dismay of Real Madrid's attacking front. I don't think there's much else to say other than......oh thank god.

The lineup is rumored to be:

OMR, Juan, Mexes, Tonetto;
DDR, Pizarro;
Giuly, Perrotta, Mancini;

Which is fine by me. At this point, if Pizarro plays like he can, fanfuckingtastic. I'd give the little man a big, lingering man hug and a hearty Spalletti ass slap. As long as Roma wins, I don't care who plays. And I have my reservations about Giuly starting on the wing - he has a much bigger impact in the middle or as a substitute out wide, I believe. But wahtever. Ludovicious Giulius to the rescue. (By the end of the year, Ludovic is going to absolutely shatter my personal record for Most Nicknames Given During One Season. I hope he gets wind of that.)

As you may know, my liveblogging juju is determined by my pre-game coffee run, and let me just say - this beverage is all kinds of fantastic. Not to mention a smooth transaction, no dropped change, pleasant counter girl....I'm feeling good about this game. Real good.

If you aren't pumped yet, just watch this:

And we'll keep the liveblog running up until the game gets started with info as it comes in......

Alright, supposedly official lineup (via

Panucci, Mexes, Juan, Cassetti;
De Rossi, Pizarro;
Giuly, Perrotta, Mancini;

Pizarro's playing, whatever. I don't care. (Still, that's incredibly stupid.)

Real (also via uefa):

Ramos, Heinze, Cannavaro, Torres;
Guti, Gago, Robben;
Raul, RvN.

Streaming: if you're at work

and Zee Sports at appear like it will be the best option, but we shall see.

Seems about time for this......

So I'm waiting for the plugin for uefa's stream to download.....

ROMA (4-2-3-1): Doni; Panucci, Juan, Mexes, Cassetti; De Rossi, Pizarro; Giuly, Perrotta, Mancini; Totti. A disp.: Julio Sergio, Cicinho, Aquilani, Vucinic, Taddei, Ferrari, Tonetto. All. Spalletti

REAL MADRID (4-1-3-2): Casillas; Sergio Ramos, Cannavaro, Heinze, Miguel Torres; Diarra; Guti, Gago, Robben; Raul, Van Nistelrooy. A disp.: Dudek, Salgado, Soldado, Drenthe, J.Baptista, Higuain, Balboa. All. Schuster

And we're off.....


Seriously, it's impossible for me not to miss the first 5 minutes of a game. Security upgrades....yada yada yada.

Alright, and we're up....

5' Robben crosses into the box, Doni takes it. Canna for the throw. Wait, Hot As Balls.

Wow. Raul. 1-0.

Scuse me. 0-1.

Fuckin hell.

Cassetti with a nice shot, nothin.


Did Chivu sneak into the stadium and put on the shirt again for a day?

Jesus. Goal for RvN ruled offsides.

8' Panucci banging crosses off legs. Nice. Giuly loses possession. Daniele De Rossi with a nice tacklee for possession.

10' DDR with another man's tackle on HAB. Completely indispenable.

Simone flubs a shot in the box. Whaddya know. A legless wonder could score more goals than Simone.

11' Heinze makes a nice tackle to take a helluva chance away from Mancini. Is Cicinho ready to come on yet?

12' Cassetti controls possession by chesting a ball oout of bounds. No, I'm not bitter.

13' Mexes goes in for a nice challenge on Guti. Ball winds up out of bounds. Guti winds up with an erection.

Btw, streaming = totally not worth the money. Good qualiity but still jumpy. Plus the price has gone up. I blame Platini.

15. Rvn angling for a peno. Bitchass.

20' DDR from distance, right of the goal. Those haven't been working out for him so well lately.

21' Raul misses basically a sitting header for 2-0. Robben is eating this team alive. God, when's his injury coming?

22' Yellow for Diarra.

Wow, uefa has dropped out. They'll be getting a very unpleasant email about a refund. (Along with a personal attack on all things Michel Platinin.)



1-1 BABY

ah, fair's fair, right?

God, I can breathe again. And I can tell the lady not to find a hotel for the night. (I hope.)

24' HAb with a big time whiff. Hair's holding him back.

25' Shitee, that was a chance. Totti and Mancini missed the ball near the edge of the box.

Herbert Fandel looks like a Germanized, refereeing Baby Huey.

28' Free kick fron OMR header territory.....

Too long. Btw, Mr. UEFA, who the fuck is 'Man-chi-ni'

29' Fernando Gago kickss a 30 yard field goal. Goal kick.

30' Miguel Torres looks like an extra on CSI: Miami.

Robben with the volley, Mexes with the block. Waiting for Arjen's iinjury any minute now.

Btw, this is the Dutch computer. Doubles vowels.

Real playing keepaway, can't keep it away from DDR.

Mancini holds possession...cleared out.

35' Old Man River is looking like a senior citizen. Maybe instead of tattoo's he should go find Brian McNamee.

37' Daniele De Rossi is the best defender in Italy. End of.

38' Ludovicious slips and donates it to the foot of Robben. Ugh.

Lulu on the break, Roma get kick. Mancini gets all excited, takes a premature free kick. Fandel puts up his hand and say "no sir".

40' Shocker of the day: Philou getting in someone's face. But he's such a kind, well-mannered lad.......

Shades of Juventus. David Pizarro gives the ball away far too close to the box and DDR gets a yellow for the foul.

If it weren't for his deflections, he'd be useless.

42' Pizarro loses the ball, fouls, Real bbreak, foul from Casettti on the other end.


43' Fernando Gago looking to follow in the footsteps of Tony Meola and make it to the NFL as a kicker after his career is done. Goal kick.

Half time.

It's about 60-40, 65-45 right now. Real doing well to set up their offense and Roma isn't helping with their fouls. Robben is an animal and OMR really just can't contain him.

And of course, DDR is the glue that holds this team together when it looks like all could fall apart.

Inter update:

Matterazzi off with two yellows in the 30th minute. 0-0 at half time. Liverpool really needs to take this gift. (Sure, it may be good for Italy. Guess what? I could care less. Forza Reds.)

Back on the field, and it looks like everyone's ready to go. No subs being mentioned.

Kick off....Roma possession.

Totti hacked down free kick for Roma.

46' Right into the boot of the closest defender. Who knew?

Helluva tackle by Mexes on Robben. I think Arjen should grow his hair out like Guti. The Bald Mullet, aka The Bullet.

47' What a feckin ball by DDR, right onto the foot of Totti from 50 yards. FT can't control it.

GIULY. What the fuck are you doing? Great buildup from Totti, Mancini and Simone. LG manages to shoot and earn Real a THROW IN.

Corner runs through the box. Roma manages to get it out. Roma really defending as a team, goal kick.

50' Nice flick onto himself bby RvN, Doni manages to take it.

Roma needs to settle down. Too much emphasis on clearing the ball instead of maintaining possession.

That Totti guy, he's good. Cassetti misses Simone, who has been a big nonfactor.

David Pizarro must have an incredibly high opinion of himself, because he gets himself into situations he has no business being in.

55 (or so) Commentatorr "It's been that final ball just letting Roma down at the moment". Yeah, no shit. Welcome to the last 2 months.







Deft move by Totti, perfect pass, Mancini slides past Casillas and it's only the goal line in his way.

2-1 Roma.

Get that man a fucking contract.

60c (or so) Totti looks inspired.

Hand ball Simone.

62' Gesu, nice shot by Ramos, just wide.

Pizaman off, King Alberto on.

Time to drive in another nail.

Still scoreless at Anfield.

65' Yellow for Torres, taking KA down from behind. How fucking dare he.....

I think Herbert Fandel moonlights as an audio guy for porn. Dunno why.

66' Gabriel Heinze is making his way up my shit list today. Don't touch the Tottster.

67' Fucking Doni......Butterhands Buttafuco and Real nearly had a second.

Max on for OMR. Marco over to the right.

I'd like to see something happen with Giuly on the right. Maybe some Cicinho.

71' Totti fouled by Gago. Free kick from about 35m....

69' Yellow on Simone for a whole lotta nothin'.

Sergio Ramos with a yellow, he's out for the 2nd leg. That's HUGE.

Juan actually looks hurt, though. Shit, here comes the cart.....

Feck, and OMR just went off. Juan's standing up, which is a good sign.

DDR goes down. Fell on his side.

Back up. Real's possession has really been held down since KA entered the field.

Gago puts another over the bar. NFL, here he comes.

74' Nice defending by Cassetti. Real throw.

Real maintaining their set up in Roma's half and Hot As Balls puts it wide.

Ferrari coming on....

Juan coming off. Looks not in the best of moods and limping a bit. Everyone pray for Juan's ankle.

77' Royston Drenthe and his braids getting ready as well.

Break for Roma....4 v 2....shit, that was a chance.....

Aquilani elbowed in the face by Diarra. Damn, that coulda been another yeller. But Totti's pass a bit too strong, that could've been .

Drenthe on for Diarra and Baptista on for Robben.

Shit, RvN hits the post....Tonetto up the wing...doesn't work.

80somethingth' Roma taking some pressure, lucky to win a GK.

Baptista puts a well placed pass over the bar. This iis quite nervewracking.

Perrotta wins it well, Roma's possession eventually ends up in a corner. Everybody's taking their leisurely time.....goal kick RM.

Raul gives DDR a little too much ass, Roma FK.

Giuly goes up for a header, ball sails right over him....gesu.

Drenthe dives at Mexes in the box and he wants a PK. Stand up, Royston.

Real now taking the "clear at all costs" route.

Fantastic interception by Berto. Real managing to set up in Roma's end. Real just look more alive at the moment.

Somebody caught Philou waaaaaay late from behind and there was no call. Bullshit.

3 mins of added time.

Cassetti gets a yellow for slapping Drenthe in the face. Good. Kid's an ass.

Totti and Mancini work a nice run but it's stopped by the Real back line.

Giuly has looked gassed for the last 10-15 minutes.

Final whistle and Real Madrid gets alll up in Herbs face....

2-1 Roma. God, that's not a great lead but a win is a win is a win. Two weeks....