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Italia 3 - 1 Portugal, Blue Boys kicked Portugese Coq !

After seeing the Azzurrini beat reigning U21 Euro champs Holland on Tuesday, the Big boys decided to spank C. Ronaldo and friends 3-1 on Wednesday night!

The Azzurri started off the match in their Nice Retro blue Kits with a 4-3-2-1 formation . Toni up top, Palladino and Di Natale as his shoulders and an Ambrosini-DDR-Pirlo midfield. Cannavaro and Barzagli we’re flanked by Oddo and Zambro. Marco Amelia was getting ready to show his detractors from what kind of Pasta he’s made from.

Donadoni said he feared the firepower of the Portuguese play but all went well in Zurich Wednesday Night. An Evening Sam, was able to enjoy first hand in the stadium. I hope you got to sing the Po Popopopopo anthem dude! Italy showed once again how they bring out their best when they face worthy opponents. Say all you want about RQ and CR7, we’ve all seen the videos on Youtube (thank you 13 year old Malaysians!) but as ‘’entertaining’’ as their fancy footwork can be, I prefer Andrea Pirlo’s class and Luca Toni’s Brute force. Not to mention, Fabio Cannavaro’s all around awesomeness !

1st Half

No subs except for Grosso replacing Zambrotta after half an hour. We had a couple of good chances in the first half. Di Natale missed a sitter, (i.e. Thank You captain obvious) and Luca Toni botched one half decent cross. Andrea Pirlo curled in a beautiful goal; the only problem was him handling the ball before scoring. Other than That, Textbook goal.

However, our favourite Blue kitted team (Screw you France, nice Spanish spanking; Hey Les Bleus! On le Nique votre coq sportif!) Weren’t controlling the ball like AcMilan can.

Portugal maintained possession for the better part of the 1st half. R. Quaresma was running circles around Oddo. He’s immensely talented, especially once inside the box, but thank god for Italy, the Porto player possesses the decision-making ability of Edgar Alvarez (see that Livorno/Roma link right there?)

The Azzurri D managed to fend off all the Portuguese attacks. Barzagli and Cannavaro had no trouble controlling Portugal’s’ big Zairian/Congolese Centre Forward. Big Strong dude that Makukulakula fellow !

C.Ronaldo then earned himself a freekick by falling like only he can, same distance as his recent ‘’wonder goal’’ in the Prem. But Marco Amelia made a great save, trying his best to make us forget GiGi Buffon

Portugal screwed up their best opportunity 45 minutes in, Portugal’s ambiguously metrosexual duo ran in a 2-on-1 with ManBag and Q-Cheezy on the ball, only to see them screw things up royally. Good thing for the Boys from the Boot, they took that botched sure goal and ran it in for a Luca Toni goal. 1-0! Fabio Grosso crossed one in to the box and Luca Toni happily slapped the cool, old-school looking ball in the back of the net. I’d like to thank Ricardo for screwing up royally.

A kick to the Portuguese Coq right before the break.

Scolari said before the game, Italia only need one decent opportunity to screw you over
Luca Toni’s extra-time goal being exactly the screw-mentation Big Phil feared.

Then Ray Hudson loses it ; Text book Italian Football , One chance and they Kill ya’ ! (Actually we need 3 Ray!)

2nd Half

The second half saw a lot of Substitutions and little confusion.

The Azzurri Start out like possessed players! 4 minutes in, Pirlo sends in a great ball in the box, Di Natale controls it down for Luca Toni who gives Portuguese GK Ricardo the chance to redeem himself with a great save. On the resulting corner Pirlo kicks off Cannavaro’s foot and the ball gets in the far post for the goal. RETE! 2-0! Po Po Popopopo !

Then Donadoni says; hey it’s 2-0 let’s test out Marco Amelia’s skills! Gamberini, you’re in!

Perrotta in for De Rossi and Gamberini for Barzagli , Simone slots in at Trequartista and the Don switches to 4-2-3-1

Palladino gets an excellent chance 63rd, his shot is deflected on the cross bar by the keeper

Luca Toni comes off after 69 Minutes; it’s Borriello time! I think the Don did that 69 minutes thing on purpose because Borriello’s WAG is a coked up STD farm. He didn’t do much. This kid’s on the over-hyped shelf until further notice

Q-Cheezy then scored a sitter in the 75Th, but his goal was cancelled 1 minute later after Quagliarella scored off the nifty keep up that was going on between Perrotta and Di Natale. 3-1!

Big Phil Scolari needs to bring Joao Moutinho to the Senior squad, he’s way better than Petit, Hell Miguel Veloso too!

A Second Ronaldo free kick forces Marco Amelia to make another decent diving save in the 89th. 3 whistles later and the Azzurri have spanked Portugal 3-1! Forza Ragazzi

Aquilani was the only player not to make it off the pine. Good, no groin snaps!

ITALIA-PORTOGALLO 3-1 (primo tempo 1-0)
MARCATORI: Toni (I) al 46' p.t.; F. Cannavaro (I) al 5', Quaresma (P) al 32', Quagliarella (I) al 33' s.t.
ITALIA (4-1-4-1): Amelia; Oddo (Cassetti dal 36' s.t.), F. Cannavaro, Barzagli (Gamberini dall'8' s.t.) , Zambrotta (Grosso dal 29' p.t.); De Rossi (Perrotta dall'8' s.t.); Palladino (Quagliarella dal 33' s.t.), Pirlo, Ambrosini, Di Natale; Toni (Borriello dal 27' s.t.). (De Sanctis, Aquilani). ALLENATORE: Donadoni.

PORTOGALLO (4-2-3-1): Ricardo; Bosingwa (Ribeiro dal 24' s.t.), R. Carvalho, B.Alves, Caneira (P.Ferreira dal 1' s.t.); Petit (F. Meira dal 1' s.t.), Maniche (Meireles dal 17' s.t.); Quaresma, Deco (Nani dal 1' s.t.), C.Ronaldo; Makukula (Almeida dal 12' s.t.). (Quim, Patricio). ALLENATORE: Scolari.

ARBITRO: Kever (Svizzera).

NOTE: spettatori 30.500. Ammoniti: nessuno.

Angoli: 5-10.

Recuperi: p.t. 1'; s.t. 3'.

Key matchups

The ambiguously metrosexual Portuguese duo of Quaresma and C. Ronaldo vs The Azzurri Defence:

Hell Nani was the most dangerous winger on the opposing squad yesterday!

Ricardo- Q-Cheezy- Quaresma is all fanciness and no substance. He looks dangerous but when he gets close to goal, he screws it all up.

C. Ronaldo was C. Ronaldo. He ran, he whined, he dove and he took that weird ass stance of his before Marco Amelia suavely saved his Free Kicks. Who the Hell said he was the best player in the world? Damn you sensationalist English media!

Winner: Azzuri Defense

Strikers not named Toni vs Finishing:

At least Quags got one in, Di Natale still can't finish off anything decent but i totally forgot about Andrea Pirlo's amazingness

Winner : Luca Toni and Andrea Pirlo

Donadoni and his IQ vs Big Phil:


The Don must be laughing his ass off seeing how he’s going to negotiate a contract now! The coach mixed it up well I find. Starting off with a Christmas tree and fielding De Rossi. Now, he still doesn’t understand that Ambrosini and Palladino shouldn’t be first choices; maybe he was giving them a last long look before relegating them to the bench or the couch in the summer.

Quagliarella needs to be on the pitch! I’m confident that Quagliarella has cemented a spot on this squad.

A part from Palladino and Borriello, Donadoni still needs to factor in players like Rosina, Gilardino, Miccoli, Lucarelli, Iaquinta and dare I say Beppe Rossi. Let’s see what the Don’s next squad selection.

Big Phil paid for the shortcomings of the Portugese defence. If Quaresma and Ronaldo finish off that 2-on-1 they had right before Toni’s goal, Big Phil’s team goes in to the 2nd half 1 goal up and Donadoni isn’t smiling like a 14 year old boy at a Tittie Bar. Bada Bing !

Winner : The Don

The Molson Ex, 3 stars

Marco Amelia Amelia vs Portugal was one of the key matchups I forgot to include in the preview. I’m ecstatic that Marco Amelia was solid yesterday.

He was faultless on the Portuguese goal. The defenders forgot Quaresma on the edge of the box. The Livorno keeper did all he could to reinforce his 2nd keeper spot, that Vice-Buffon spot seems to be comfortably occupied. Azzurri fans need not to fear seeing Amelia between the sticks.
Forza Livorno !

Andrea Pirlo;

Luca Cigarini has some big ass shoes to fill! Amazingly accurate passes all game long and he almost scored 2. I’m sure Fabio Cannavaro would be willing to give him that goal.

Luca Toni :

Toni e Fulmini! Everytime I see him in Azzurri Blue he scores. Even in the WC2006 final he scored, but thatr’s another story. The Big Man was a late Bloomer but he has been flowering for the past 4 years and is probably going to provide a huge yield of goals before the end of his career.


All in all a good entertaining game and a solid azzurri performance. Bring on Ireland !

Forza Ragazzi !