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Liveblog: Roma Entertain The Merda

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ddrmexes.jpgBecause it's their city, and the fact that Lazyo is allowed to even play in the Olimpico is a joke.

I could sit here and spout off vitriole against the merda all day, which I might do anyway, but they're not worth the collection of breaths.

Roma is en fuego. We know this. Mirko Vucinic is looking like everything he's supposed to be and more, even though it's from the bench. It's like the old boxing analogy: don't go in looking for the KO, because chances are you'll get kayoed yourself. Soften 'em up with a few rounds of jabs, knock their arms around a bit and wait for their hands to drop.....then go for the KO. In the Giallorossi equation, Amantino is the jab (that sometimes fucks it all up and kayos the opponent anyway), and Mirko is the knockout punch in the late rounds. It works, at the moment.....don't mess with it.

Rumor has it David Pizarro is starting. I don't care if Little David scores 12 goals and urinates on Luciano Zauri for his 7th celebration, Alberto Aquilani is Roman, he is Romanista, and he has to play. This is a game which is unlike any other game, and tactics can mean very little. Let's hope they're all wrong.

Another early rumor is that Marco Cassetti will get the start on the left, and the only real answer here is that Max Tonetto was so freakin' exhausted after he ran the London, Boston and Chicago marathons in succession on Saturday evening that he'd be good for maybe a half going in. Coming off an injury? I dunno. Could be baseless speculation.

Cicinho looks to be very, very quietly winning that starting spot in the RB slot.

Oh, and the hard and soul of the back line has returned to hate on Lazyo just a little bit more. Phorza Philou.

Rumored Lineup:


Doni;
Cicinho, Mexes, Juan, Tonetto;
DDR, Pizarro;
Taddei, Perrotta, Mancini;
Totti.

T-minus 1 hour.

A little derby love to hold you over:

Scratch allllllll of that, Vucinic and Aquilani are IN, per Il Romanista:

ROMA (4-2-3-1): Doni; Cicinho, Juan, Mexes, Cassetti; De Rossi, Aquilani; Perrotta, Taddei, Vucinic; Totti

LAZIO (4-3-3): Ballotta; De Silvestri, Cribari, Siviglia, Kolarov; Behrami, Ledesma, Dabo; Pandev, Bianchi, Rocchi

Also, you will all be happy to know I am in fact rocking the Simone-inspired beard, which may just be good luck.

Doni;
Cicinho, Mexes, Juan, Cassetti;
DDR, Aquilani;
Taddei, Perrotta, Vucinic;
Totti.

Lineups are official.

True Visions 3608 is up.......

And here we go. The flags are waving, the teams are ready, it's derby time ladies.

KICKOFF

SHIT, LAZIO GETS AN EARLY CHANCE ON GOAL.

Not good. Bad caps lock monster.

Cicinho's on the left.....odd.

1' Philou's looking primed to stick his yellow boot up some Laziale asses.

2' Looks like Cici is a counter move for De Silvestri.

Berto is getting knocked all over the place in the opening minutes. Just you wait til he unleashes his revenge.

3' Corner Roma...nice run from Cassetti. Totti taking it.........another corner. Forza.

Too much loft. Poor pass from Taddei, I believe. Hit the ball like a sally, those baby blues unis must be rubbing off.

6' Roma's passing has been pretty terrible to start off the game. Let's hope they're just getting warmed up.

Free kick baby slappers.....off the cross bar..

DONI!!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!!!

Way out of position. That was damn near 1-0.

8' Defense is really being tested here. This reminds of the last derby.

10' Roma at least controlling some play now, but jesus. Testy few minutes there.

Bianchi goes a litle top heavy and falls down in the box. Big breasts will do that to ya, buddy.

11' Lazio's uniforms look like they're stuck in 1980, just like their organization.

13' Cassetti's passes have really been off here.

Free kick in range for Roma.....

headed out.....Roma loooking disorganized and kind of all over the place.

15' Corner for the sheep herders...

Roma back in possession.

Cassetti making a run.....Vuci in the box...Mexes makes a nice tackle to win possession. Bianchi threads one to Doni. Brilliant!

18' Just showed Mudingayi looking lustfully towards Behrami on the bench. Oof.

Vucinic shoots wide.

19' Roma really working on some thing here. Totti with a nice flick.....Mexes is shown a yellow. Fark.

21' ANOTHER Lazio set piece. Jesus.

A whole lotta nothin in the middle of the pitch right now.

23' Roma string some nice passes together...vintage stuff...but the ball is headed over the crossbar.

24' Marco Cassetti just put on a clinic for Valon Behrami...

Siviglia shown the yeller for a stupiid foul on Vucinic.

Free kick does nothin', but Roma's at least putting Lazio on their back foot. They'll fall down eventually.

26' I'm feeling a Siviglia red card today.

Those dumb Lazie fucks....you can't put the ball through DDR"s midfield.

28' Corner.....bounced out of the box.

Siviglia boots it towards the Sud.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLL

TADDEI ON THE DEFLECTION!!!!!!

Behrami tries to clear it but it hits Taddei off the face and he scores the opened. God, that just fucking defines SS Lazio right there.

That was all Vuci's run, though. Beautiful slalom.

Bianchi just got hit in the giblet. The one remaining after they took thhe other when he wa sold to Lazio.

De Silvestri is down....really down. Ummm, broken rib, perhaps?

35' Neh, he's fine.

Juan is a monster.

Phew...balll trickles through the box....

Aquilani gets it out of danger. Testy times.

Kolarov gets a yellow. Taddei has been taking a beating today. Luckily one of em was a goal.

DDR with a smooth back heel. Puhlease, Lazyo.

39' Cassetti with the foul on Ledesma.....just a harmless trip. No card. The savages are booing. or is that a mating call?

Daniele De Rossi with a man's challenge on Kolarov. Absolute freakin' beast.

No foul on Vuci...what the fuck?

Fuck. 1-1. The ref had to miss two fucking calls for them to get it.

Totti has been relatively nonexistent.

45' 1 minute added.

Dabo given a yellow for being a fucking louse.

Halftime.

Fuck. That is all. Fuck.

And Genoa draws it 1-1. Atta girlies.

Good news: Roma can't really play much worse than in the first half, an we're clearly due for a sub or 7. Also, Nearly the entire Lazie squad seems to have yellows, so the chances of a red may be decent.

And here we go again....

2nd half:

@#$%....Simone puts it wide right off the bat. Hey, at least he didn't boot it to the Sud.

Cicinhp makes a nice grab....Taddei boots it to the bench. Where's Amantino? He's pretty damn ood in these things ya know.

Little bit of field tennis here...not much going....Christ, is Roma playing anyone on the wings?

Great ball by DDR, Ballotta grabs it but he was sliding towards a red card. Damn.

FUCK. Totti goal ruled offside.

Roma's playing a one touch game right now. Very welcome.

Kolarov launches a tribute to ex-Lazie Massimo Oddo and launches a ball deep into the Nord.

Bianchi throws an elbow at Mexes....must've learned that in the Prem.

Ball gets lost in the box. Roma in possession.

5' Aquilani gets a yellow card. He's pissed.

54' Bianchi puts it wide. Thank christ.

Subs, please.

55' Aquilani boots it over the goal. To Lazie.

What a fucking bullshit ccall.

Morganti is out of his fucking mind here.

Penalty.

And Serie A just gets more and more embarrassing.

SUBS, PLEASE.

60' Taddei is....well....he needs to come off.

SIIIIIMMMMOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

2-2

You run that ball back out you madman.

Juan giving a real embrace to Cassetti - you can see how much this jersey means to him already.

The boys are running around like animals. They want this so bad.

Alright, love yer face Taddei, but it's time to come off.

Amazing ball from Totti to Vuci....corner kick.....where's Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudovic.

65' Mutarelli on for De Silvestri.

Ludovicious for Taddei.

67' Cassetti kicks a field goal, Lazio ball.

Kolarov is the Serbian Massimo Oddo.

I hope he stays at Lazio for a long, long time.

Giuly nearly had a break right there.....played it into the box, it's cleared out.

Ledesma goes down....strained his labia minora.

Bianchi off for Mauri.

Totti & Giuly...that's what it's going too be.

Cassetti is down.

Game's still 2-2, even though it should be 2-1.

Overhead boot from Aquilani and he hurt himself on the landing.

You know...........

Roma really taking the gamee to Lazio righ now.

Genoa & Inter drew 1-1.....come on Giallorossi.......

Damn, Behrami swings it for a goal kick. Tempo really slowing down here.

Somebody went in two footed on the captain. Siviglia. Bitchass.

Another sub, Spal? Maybe some mantino?

Vucinic just faked himself out. They've got one in em...come on.

Here comes Amantino.

Mudigayi just onto the pitch fresh out of the showers.

Mancini on for Vuci. I like it the other way around.

Rocchi cries because he wanted a pk for his dive. You already got one today, buddy.

Corner oon some work from Amantino.

Another corner from Amantino.

Morganti has been fucking terrible tonight.

Cassetti has taken a real beating tonight.

andeev gets stopped one his way to a 1v1 with Doni by Cici and Juan.

OMR for Cassetti, being helped off the field.

5 mins stoppage.