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A Foreign Country, Or Something


Roma France

I’ve been amidst travel - trying to save Italia during the internationals, and it ain't workin' - so not only do I know little of what transpired in the last week, I hadn’t a goddamn clue there was a ‘game’ today. Silly me.

I did, however, know that France was playing and with a certain Mexes and possibly Fenomenez in the lineup, with John Arne Who Needs A Backup? on the other side. Tis halftime as we speak, and here’s what we know.

  • Jeremy has no-showed. And not in the first-half-against-Parma-in-May sense. I mean he’s not in the lineup.

    This'll do.

  • I think Philou’s having an adventure. My stream is in Romanian, which is almost like a foreign language to me, but my head picks up every time I hear “Mesches”, which is quite a bit, and it usually involves the French goalkeeper.

    At one point he was being blamed, I think, for a free header, but the other central defender had left his man, the headerer, for the trequartista, who’d slyly dropped into midfield. A tactic so fresh and original it was perfected in the 40’s. By Hungary. COME ON.

  • I’ve seen enough of John Arne Riise in the last two years to know what he’s doing each and every 90 minutes he spends on a football pitch; that is: running, pushing forward with reckless abandon, running, hitting baby-killers with his left foot, running, ignoring tactics, running, and defending somewhere between average and above-average. All in short sleeves.
  • It’s now the second half and Menez is on to the fangirl crescendo of the Romanian commentators, who must be moonlighting as Bogdan Lobont’s Trigoria-based fluffers to have had such an impacting glimpse of Le Show.
  • Ben Arfa just scored a wondergoal while wearing Jeremy’s beard. Don’t think for a second he hasn’t figured it out.
  • Riise scored. Wrong one. Wait, that’s not a Riise, just looks like one. Damn Scandinavians.
  • This isn’t a liveblog, the game is simply happening as I’m writing this up.
  • Menez v Riise: The Showdown. Rd. 1 – into Riise’s shins. Rd. 2 – cheeky pass.

    To Be Trigoria.

  • John almost took off one of the keeper’s limbs. And again. That left foot belongs in a museum. With a velvet rope.

As for the other game, they tell me Grosseto won on penos.

Preseason friendlies/cups are getting’ outta control.

On an entirely separate topic, I’d like to display for the class a textbook example of Great Footballer Hair. Take notes.


This is the Philou we know and love. Long live Mexes.


Disqus will arrive very, very shortly.