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Totti Tuesday: ‘Slippery floor, Dark Knights & Kevin Spacey’

Sunday evening, 21.00h (GMT +1). Terrorists in giallorosso were preparing a hostile takeover at Trigoria while planning to bomb the Pantheon, Trevi fountain and the Colosseo all at once.

Gabriele Maltinti

Sunday evening, 22.30h. Genoa - Roma 2-4 and back on track for a CL place while Roma receive the highest praise possible. What happened? Roma happened. Zemanlandia happened. And a premature ejaculation chez moi happened while looking like this but that’s not the point, is it? More info below, just mind the white slippery floor. Hey, no one said this was a children’s blog right?

Grabbing Genoa by the genitals

Anyone seen the movie Rocky? “It ain’t over till it’s over.” Well, now you know. It feels good to finally not be on the ‘lose a lead’-team. I didn’t visit or comment during the match on CdT cauz well, emotions do tend to make you write stupid stuff. Things that make you eat your own words afterwards.
Roma haven’t won at the Marassi since 2007 thanks to a Panucci header (damn I miss GOMR). Lots of people probably had a heart attack after the 2-0 and wanted to punch other people in the face (ok some of them might deserve it but anger doesn’t help). After eight matches, you more or less have a feeling and clearer picture of what Zemanlandia is all about. Spectacle. Fun. And, mostly, conceding and scoring goals. Boy, did I enjoy my Sunday evening.
One has to wonder what Burdisso’s thinking of right now when seeing the partnership Castan-Marquinhos flourish and evolving week after week. Burdisso just went from our numero uno CB this season to bench material in three weeks time, including one week international break. Not really his fault of course, Castan has been a stud ever since he joined us while the rise of ‘Hos (‘Hos always make people ‘rise’ if you know what I mean, specially ‘dark knights’…) has been everpresent since Atalanta. Ok enough with the sexist remarks… no really I swear.

Ps: Our current away form is WWLW. The loss was at Juventus (you know, the Barça of Serie A, steamroll FC of the Peninsula, unbeaten in 40+ matches).

Pss: That same current away form vaporises in comparison with Osvaldo’s form. 5 goals in 4 matches in Serie A while also being on the scoresheet for Italy. Red card? I’ll happily accept a brainfart of him every now and then if he keeps bangin’ em in. Everyone has a talent. Osvaldo has two: scoring goals and doing stupid shit on the field simultaneously. Guess what? I love both of them.

Reward time!

The Aldair/Juan reward: Castan. He’ll be linked with those two names for quite some time. He’s not even 26 yet, a calm personality and steady CB. After Mexes, Loria , Kjaer and Burdisso, that’s a very big welcome. Imagine Zemanlandia with those four, yikes.

The Bruno Conti award: Totti. Legend legend legend. Loved by fans, always linked to Roma in whatever he does, whatever he says or whenever he breathes. 217 and counting… Next up is former Roma player Nordahl’s tally of 225 goals.

The Lex Luthor award: Bradley. Kevin Spacey, take note.

The who’s that hottie playing for the other team award: Borriello.

The I long for the days of Panucci and Cafu award: Piris. His best game in giallorosso with two assists and a tireless display (just watch that run before Osvaldo’s first goal). I’m still not sold on Piris yet but yesterday he made me forget we shipped out Rosi or we had Taddei on the bench. Yes there are better RB’s out there and yes, both Genoa goals came from his side but fact is, until January, he’s the best option we got on the right.
The Greek Tragedy award: Tachtsidis. Maybe needs some time on the bench. Perfect moment excuse for Zeman to use a DDR-Pjanic-Florenzi midfield.


• Nego needs to eat some sandwiches, even more than Menez. No Simplicio, not you. You’ve had enough.

• Cafu was voted into our Hall of Fame as best RB. Completely and utterly deserved. Great player and person. He visited Trigoria last week while shaking hands with both fellow countrymen (Marquinhos) and ex-team mates (Totti and Daniele). Nice to see Il Pendolino back. Let’s hope he gave some tips to Dodo too cauz players like Cafu are always welcome.

“I have some beautiful memories of Zeman. We did not win the championship, but we played well and got some great results. I'm sure he will find the right way to adapt this team to his style of play.Totti? He is always strong, and as a Roman, fights for the team. He makes you feel great, and was a fantastic teammate.” – Cafu, 2012.