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Totti Tuesday: ‘The Joker, Octopussy & Venus’

Pescara-Roma. The second most easiest game of the season. After Roma-Pescara of course. With all due respect for the dolphins. And all other animal species in the world. Except goats. Can’t feel love for them.

Paolo Bruno

The second consecutive week of non-Zemanlandia football but three points nonetheless. Zeman will be happy for the result but not the way in which we achieved the result. Right now, for me the result concerns me (trailing, grumpy fans etc) more but it’s almost December and by now, 20 minutes of Zemanlandia in a match is not enough. Next month is gonna be crucial for the push for top 5, starting with Siena.

The plot after Pescara

Aaah Tuscany. The Mount Doom/Kryptonite/Gaza/Joker of Roma’s Frodo/Superman/Israël/Batman. Never an easy job, specially not with Lamela. Roma sorely misses him but oh irony, his replacer scored on Sunday. I think it’s a shame Destro (translated by google as ‘right’) is playing wide instead of in the centre on Ozzy’s spot but it’s good for his confidence. Lamela could be fit by Fiorentina which will be a real nut cracker (if we lose, feel free to interpret that literally).
Roma has changed since Torino and Pescara. Why? The biggest, fattest evidence: two clean sheets. And not with Buffon, Cassillas or the lovechild of Lev Yashin and an octopus. No, we did it with Goicoechea. Second evidence: less goals scored. We still had chances but we squashed them Ozzy-style.

Question: how will Roma cope with that? What does the future hold? Will they keep this up, producing even more tight results ala 1-0 or 2-1 or will they finally turn up the Zemanlandia-speakers and start winning and losing 3-4 or 4-3 consistently? Difficult to say but after our 6/6 against Torino and Pescara (and maybe, nay probably a 9/9 after Siena) the table does look more pink fluffy unicorns and less dead parrots and carcasses of riped open hellhounds. December is gonna be one hell of a ride that’s for sure. Throw in a Coppa Italia fixture against Atalanta or and we have a ball ladies and gentlemen. It was always too early to condemn this team and Zeman but feel free to do so after December. Then we can really say if EL or CL is a possibility and Montella is becoming priority no1 of the management. Kudos to him and Fiorentina btw, love the way they play and how Aeroplanino created a side to his hand. The presence of ex-Giallorossi Pizarro, Toni, Aquilani and Prade does help too. But still, kudos. And please, do not pretend like his Fiorentina standing in front of Roma in the standings doesn’t taste sour. It does but I guess it was simply not his time… yet.

Omitting the Oak

Stekelenburg seems to be fit. But can we really drop Goicoechea after two clean sheets? For the love of God, Maarten didn’t even HAVE two clean sheets during his entire Roman career, when he had the likes of Juan, Burdisso in front of him. Goicoechea does it with a todler and Serie A-newcomer. Let him stay between the posts until we have an actual reason to switch aka Mauro releasing his inner Doni-demons. Doni-demons? Mmmm I might as well request copyright on that word, it’s gonna be popular soon.


The Crockett & Tubbs award: Castan and Marquinhos. They’re officially back. But this time in the shape of two Brazilians. I think I can now safely say these are Roma’s two starting CB’s for the rest of the season. Anyone who misses Kjaer, raise his hand please… and prepare to get bitchslapped from Rome to Venus (FYI that’s roughly 42 million kilometres). Just hope both of them don’t receive the ‘Rodrigo Defendi award’ anytime soon.

The Keivan Zarineh award: Osvaldo. Unworthy display for a Roma striker. With Lamela back soon, who is banking on a Totti-Destro-Lamela frontline for Fiorentina?


I love and I hate Siena. But it is as much of a 3-point-game like Torino and Pescara. Specially if you know Fiorentina is coming to town the week after that. For the first time this season Zeman can brag with three wins in a row. And who are we to deny his place in the sun (which is even farther away than Venus, mind you) for Il Boemo? As Spartans would say: For Zeman! For Loria. For Europe qualification! For Roma! Grazie for reading and until next week.

"I have faith in my capabilities and the club has been close to me during this difficult period. I am aware of Tottenham’s interest, but I have no intention of leaving Roma. The club was clear, I have a three-year contract and without doubt will remain here. Our problem in Serie A is that we are dropping points, but are perfectly capable of competing for the top three positions." – Miralem Pjanic, 2012