Forgetting The Derby In A Haze (Of News) (Or Something Else)

For anyone just arriving on the redeye from Pluto, that picture is an accurate representation of the derby - a bunch of smoke, and it never happened.

Never.

Happened.

Now that we've dealt with that, things which are going to happen, along with other things:

• The Bogdan Lobont Show. Prepare accordingly. This includes such things as alcohol, a surprising expression after ninety minutes, realizing you won't need as much alcohol as expected, and throwing money on the other side scoring a minimum of one goal per game.
• Simon Kjaer. Simon Kjaer is going to happen.
  
  Would you punt the Europa League for the off chance at turning Simon into a productive footballer over the next two months? The question, actually, might whether or not one will have to...
  
  Judging by 2011-12 thus far.......no comment.
  
• Juan's career is officially a bonus from here on out. Sad, but this day was inevitable. And if someone is going to assume Chivu's cursed crystalline construct which was then passed onto Juan, Cicinho's outgoing contract will do nicely.
• Walter Sabatini thinks it was a mistake not to go after a defender in January.
  
  I'm assuming he's making a funny. This was clearly a mistake in December. (He's still been good, mind.)
  
• The last Roma beat Palermo at the Renzo Barbera, this happened.
  
  So depressing on just so many levels.
  
• Miralem Pjanic is out three weeks, during which time he'll have his face reinflated. This almost makes one wish Fernando Gago to be the one suspended an extra game, rather than the Argentine J. Depp, just to see how little Luis-specific depth this squad really has in midfield.
  
  Admit it - you dream of the day when both Leandro Greco and Fabio Simplicio are playing Possession Stat Mafia football in the starting midfield. Don't lie.

• As inevitable as the sacking itself: Andre Villas-Boas to Roma rumors abound.
  
  It's certainly unlikely to happen, considering the ink is drying on his caricature tattooed upon Moratti's arse, but that won't stop Luis from being asked about it after every moderately subpar performance from Roma through the end of the year. Given the nature of sports journalism, it won't matter whether there's a shred of truth to it one bit - and there's every chance it will piss Luis off to no end in swift fashion. I give him until Lecce before firing a bike frame at an unsuspecting reporter during the postgame.
  
• Blogistuta broke down the goals - it should be read. However, I would argue the true definition of 'Luchoball' is restricted to lateral passes by the centerbacks.