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Roman News, Notes & Gifts From Bari

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BARI, ITALY - MAY 15:  Andrea Masiello of Bari after reacts during the Serie A match between AS Bari and Lecce at Stadio San Nicola on May 15, 2011 in Bari, Italy.  (Photo by Giuseppe Bellini/Getty Images)
BARI, ITALY - MAY 15: Andrea Masiello of Bari after reacts during the Serie A match between AS Bari and Lecce at Stadio San Nicola on May 15, 2011 in Bari, Italy. (Photo by Giuseppe Bellini/Getty Images)
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Cheater Alert!

So everyone's on board with Andrea Masiello, right? Big time cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater? Well, Roma's match against Bari from last May is under investigation - and not only by prosecutors, but also by the fashion police. Someone needs to be banned for this for several reasons, among them Adriano's built-in bra. More to the point, however, several things in the highlights merit mentioning:

  • Most importantly: Illusions - delusions, really - of Francesco bringing back The Mane. Hopes were stratospheric, only to fall to earth with a thud like a paraplegic skydiver.
  • Has Francesco hit a free kick even half as good this year? Certainly not.
  • Apparently personnel is irrelevant when it comes to defending crosses - it's a laundry thing.
  • Simone Bentivoglio is on 'the list' and he scored Bari's penalty. Plonking it into the cheap seats would seem excellent execution were he truly punting this game. (They were long relegated at this point.)
  • The clip of Doni the spectator watching the ball fly over his head and onto the bar, then cutting to a shot of Montella feasting on fingernails whilst sporting a look of subtle beflusterment should suffice as Alex's Wikipedia entry in every language.
  • Nicola Belmonte, with a fistful of shirt on the Juan penalty, is on the list.
  • The chip over the top by Francesco means it doesn't even matter - counts anyway.
  • Alessandro Parisi, marking Rosi on the gamewinner, is on the list as well.

The involvement of those under investigation may be coincidental. What we can say with absolute certainty is this:

If Aleandro Rosi is scoring final-minute matchwinners, something fishy is undoubtedly afoot.

Notes

i. Rejoice! Olimpico lease reupped through 2015. This means no new stadium before 2015-16 at earliest.

Pardon me while a gasp for air due to this utterly shocking (non)development.

ii. Set your fantacalcio market gauges appropriately:

It will likely be at least a few years before Serie A can wrangle that fourth Champion League spot away from the Bundesliga, particularly if Bayern Munich does any damage from this point on. Reroute any economic thinking for the summer appropriately - more money being needed with less available, only three spots available for a few years, resulting competitiveness and the willingness of the Big Spenders (see: The North) to outlay the necessary cash to buy those spots, etc. etc. etc.

iii. Neither Totti nor Pjanic is being considered likely to take part in Giallorossi^2 this weekend. Probably lineup reading as: Stekelenberg; Rosi, Kjaer, Heinze, Taddei; Gago, DDR, 'Quinho; Lamela, Osvaldo, Bojan. Keep an eye on the burgeoning Pjanic theory either way.

Also, the match is Saturday for those who don't worship Jesus (the carpenter) or the Easter Bunny.

iv. Extending from Jonas' point on the table/schedule, the weekend's fixture is unexpectedly intriguing. Considering how they've played over the last weeks, it's alarming to think they're a win against a relegation team away from winning four out of five.

But maybe that's the point.