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Totti Tuesday: ‘George Clooney, spitting squadrons and tobacco’

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Last week has been about one thing and one thing only: The project has failed. The pièce de résistance of the US and A has failed. LE failed (as a coach, not as a man) and so did Sabatini, Baldini, DiBenedetto and everyone else calling themselves the sugar daddies of Roma. The league table doesn’t lie. Battling with Bologna and Parma for a seventh spot is something not worthy of AS Roma, its tifosi and the city as a whole. It’s gonna be one long, nasty summer. Then again, since when did we Romanisti had a quiet transfer season or even Serie A season tout court?

Never a dull day at the office of Sabatini (with obligatory teenage posters, Argentinian flags and a cup with Lamela’s face printed on it spitting in the direction of Italian prodigies who never got a chance in Roma’s first team).

Speaking of Argentina: if Monty did arrive from Catania, he (and probably Saba too) intend to bring half of their Argentinian continent along with him to Roma. Bergessio, Spolli, Llama and Gomez among those named. Plus rumours of Gago being bought outright from Real, Musacchio and Silvestre coming in. Insert your AS Argentina jokes… now! North-Americans at the helm of half an Argentinian team, it’s a recipe for disaster and season 2012-2013 is still three months away.
Having both Lamela and Llama in our team would not only scare commentators (pronunciation and stuff) but also the opponents themselves: it’s like having our very own little spitting squadron. Seriously, who doesn’t want to watch Totti, Llama and Lamela spit on Rocchi, Zlatan and Daniele Conti (no offence Bruno).
Btw, the blue colors of Argentina make me sick. They kind of remind me of another blue team which loves to stare at goats, alongside George Clooney and Kevin Spacey.

Cesena match

6/6 against Cesena, eight goals for, three against. Does this mean that we rule or they just plain suck monkey balls (or goat balls, for laziale reading this blog)? My two cents is on the latter.
Given the fact that Bojan scored, I’d like to make a statement here: Keep him for next season. The kid undoubtly has talent, he’s only 21 and this was his first year abroad, away from his childhood (aka sucking on Barca’s tits). In a chaotic environment that is AS Roma and a rather unexperienced coach in a very tactical league. Seven goals is too few, I agree but he will only get better in the near future. Even if he has to go back to Barca in two years time, we can surely use his goals next season. Same for Kjaer by the way, if Saba can somehow work out a way to extend his loan for one more year with Wolfsburg… do it. You’ll find few other cheap alternatives with his talent. Giving the fact that both Juan and Heinze could leave, loaning Kjaer (for free!) for an entire season is most welcome. Besides, we can’t afford to buy three CB’s as we also have to look at both full back positions.
Speaking of full backs: buy Marquinho outright ASAP. His left foot alone has already made 67.4 babies in Rome since joining us in January (and no, I don’t have a clue how a 0.4 baby looks like, use your imagination for God’s sake). If he keeps up his progression in giallorosso, I foresee a babyboom in 2013.

Fun fact of the day

Montella and Luis Enrique have played against each other some time ago, times when Roma was able to beat Barca 3-0. Yes you read that right, three nil. Goals from Emerson, the man Montella himself and Tommasi. How the mighty have fallen indeed… Also, who the f*ck is Guigou you may say? Wiki knows. And Barca playing 4-4-2? Blasphemy! Somewhere, Ranieri is crying.

Roma-Barcelona 26 febbraio 2002, Stadio Olimpico (source:

Roma (3-4-3): Antonioli, Zebina, Samuel, Panucci, Cafu, Emerson. Lima, Candela, Totti (42′ st Cassano), Batistuta (26′ st Tommasi), Delvecchio (1′ st Montella). ( In panchina Pelizzoli, Zago, Aldair, Guigou). Allenatore: Capello

Barcelona (4-4-2): Reina, Pujol, De Boer, Christanval, Sergi (33′ st Xavi), Gerard, Luis Enrique (36′ st Rochembach), Cocu , Motta (20′ st Overmars), Rivaldo , Kluivert ( Bonano, Abelardo, Coco, Saviola). Allenatore: Rexach


• Is it me or does the combo Zeman-Sabatini finance half of the world’s the entire tobacco industry? I pray that Zeman never becomes our coach, Trigoria would look like the centre of Chicago at 8:am.

• From time to time, I see a lot of talk on this blog concerning our results against ‘minor teams’. Mind you that Roma won five out of six matches against the relegated teams (Lecce, Novara and Cesena), scoring five against both Novara and Cesena at home. We only lost in Lecce, which ironically ended our European hopes as well. Still, a damn good overall against the ‘black sheeps’ of Serie A 2011-2012. Let’s hope Sampdoria stay in B though.

• Mister Vincenzo Montella, he’s sexy and you know it.

• Please do me a favour and search ‘Luis Enrique AS Roma’ on google pictures. I swear in half of those pics, it looks like he has no idea of what’s going on. And that’s why we all loved the man so frikkin much. You can question his tactic(s) but not his personality and gentlemanship.

• This season: Luis Enrique (42 years). Next season probably Montella (37 years). At this rate, I expect Christian Totti to be named head coach in 2014…

That’s it for this week guys, until the next! Ciao!

Fitting end and in loving memory of ‘Roma tiki taka’:
“It was wonderful and a source of great pride to have been the coach of Roma. It’s not right to talk about this as a resignation. It was simply the right time to leave so the club can find a replacement. I am not angry, nor am I paying for anything. There is no scapegoat, as Roma simply need to improve to give their fans great satisfaction.” - Luis Enrique, 2012.