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Totti Tuesday: ‘Gloria Estefan, cheerleaders and potatoes’

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VERONA, ITALY - MAY 01: AS Roma sports director Walter Sabatini before the Serie A match between AC Chievo Verona and AS Roma at Stadio Marc'Antonio Bentegodi on May 1, 2012 in Verona, Italy.  (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)
VERONA, ITALY - MAY 01: AS Roma sports director Walter Sabatini before the Serie A match between AC Chievo Verona and AS Roma at Stadio Marc'Antonio Bentegodi on May 1, 2012 in Verona, Italy. (Photo by Claudio Villa/Getty Images)
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Serie A season 2011-2012 ended. Silly transfer season has opened. Current level of alcohol intoxication: 97%. Seriously, does anyone still have a clue what’s going in Romaland nowadays? Montella comes, Catania denies. Roma wants to slot players at Catania like Angel or Crescenzi. Catania want Montella to honor his contract. Then there’s Villas-Boas. And Zeman. Roma linked with Palacio (the tailless one), Rolando, Dempsey, Garay, Eriksen, Doumbia, Jovetic, Destro, Castan… Sissoko (Toulouse) shouts for attention, Saba lights up a cigarette and ignores him. Then there’s also the loan cases of Gago and Kjaer.

I think I’ll just ride the wave and let it all happen. I do expect the management to make a decision ASAP. This Montella-AVB case is blocking our transfer season as well. For example, the chances of Rolando in giallorosso depend on Villas-Boas being our coach or not. Etcetera etcetera. Again, anthing can happen nowadays. I just open my internet every morning, take a deep breath and prepare to face the unexpected on AS Roma related sites sipping from anything stronger than absinthe.

Fact is, it’s not even June yet and the rumour mill is at full speed. Just when we all thought last season was the official start of ‘the project’ and we would have a rather quiet summer 2012 (trimming, adjusting, pimping, fine-tuning the squad here and there), here we are, coachless and facing another major squad overhaul. Needless to say, next season has to be a hit. Uncle Tom won’t splash the cash every year, daddy wants results. Be it with Montella, Villas-Boas or the lovechild of Loria and Gloria Estefan.


I’m not that opposed to offering Catania players for Montella, but only if they are on loan. I can’t think of any reason why types like Angel, Florenzi or Crescenzi shouldn’t profit from a one year loan. Catania is a (with all due respect) typical Serie A middle class team which, from time to time, can surprise against the big clubs. They too have a hot atmosphere like Rome (I tell you, Sicily and all its Zamparini’s, it’s like one big beehive in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea). But as I said, only if there are valuable alternatives left on the team. Particularly Florenzi has caught my eye during his Crotone spell, just like Bertolacci in Lecce and recently Caprari at Zemanlandia (aka Pescara).

Every year it’s the same dilemma: throw them in the arena? Or let them play with a lower side for one more year? For now, I’d like to see some of them (Bertolacci, Crescenzi, Caprari and Florenzi spring to my mind) being called back to the senior squad at least until August. If Saba and Baldini did their homework and we are pretty stacked for 2012-2013, there will always be teams waiting to give them a chance. I do prefer teams from Serie A though, they aren’t 17-18 anymore. Siena, Chievo, Atalanta and Cagliari are nice destinations.

The curious case of Cee-cee-ni-yooo

A couple of weeks ago, I’ve made a (albeit small) farewell ode to Marco Cassetti. This week, it’s Cicinho’s turn. And how a curious one it is. See, I have a soft spot for him. As for half of Roma’s team, Sabatini’s lungs, Montella’s cheekbones, Loria’s cameo in Lord of the Rings (my precious), Kim Kardashian and cheerleaders in general.

Cícero João de Cézare, anyone who is born with that name is destined to do great things.Alas, Cicinho never got to conquer Europe or even Rome. High playing, Brazilian rightback. Comparisons with Cafu or Dani Alves were never far away. He may not be from the same talent pool as them, yet I always wondered why he played so little for AS Roma since ‘09-‘10. It’s not that Cassetti or Rosi are world beaters right? Under Ranieri and even Spal, I could understand they preferred a more defensive player like Cassetti seeing the left flank was already occupied by either Riise or Tonetto. Playing attack-minded guys on both flanks is not clever (see Rosi-Angel combo). Even Barca do it: Dani Alves always plays on the right side so the more defensive Abidal is posted on the left.

But when LE was announced as head coach, I immediately thought Cici would be ‘our Dani Alves’ and finally have his breakthrough. He fits the Barca model 4-3-3 because he has speed and a great cross. We all know how it ended. Cicinho played two games this season. Two. Because LE preferred Rosi or Taddei. Yes, the midfielder Taddei. My guess is that Cici seriously offended LE’s chin during training, I can’t think of anything else. His contract ends in June. Sadly, it’s the tale of so many at Roma: wrong place at the wrong time… Ow, hi there John Carew and Mauro Esposito!

I’ll always remember Cici for the Genoa goal in ‘08-‘09. One of many typical ‘Spalletti’-goals: fluid passing, counter attacking, Perrotta-esque off-the-bal movement… A thing of beauty, the way LE actually wanted to play this season. It’s during harsh times like these (post season ‘11-‘12) that we tifosi love to look at the past. You know, when it was all about pink fluffy unicorns, Oompa Loompa brigades and the Grand Imperial Poobah. Thanks for your dedication to the colors Cee-cee-ni-yoo. ‘Cee’ you around!

AS Roma 3x0 Genoa Cicinho Goal (via Q8RomaNisti)


• A weekend without 90 minutes of AS Roma madness is like being friendzoned by a hot girl: it sucks and it’s not cool man. Thank God there’s Poland-Ukraine. Not only because of Euro 2012 but also 90% of the women there run half naked protesting things. As our friend Borat would say: Yakshemash!

• A couple of days ago, my mom was peeling potatoes with a knife and I said “Why don’t you use Montella’s cheekbones instead?” Needless to say, she still hasn’t figured out the joke.

• Federer’s a Romanista. Does that make Nadal a Laziale? Here’s your evidence.

• Someone mentioned it on Chiesa before, Roma is being linked with damn few Italians up to now. Especially one: GIOVINCO. It’s time for the Oompa Loompa’s to rise again. Mark my words.

• Small titbit on the CL final: football nowadays apparently consists of 10% skills and 90% luck. I didn’t like the way Chelsea played and definitely not the way Abramovich ‘buys’ his trophies. Bayern deserved it more BUT you can’t question Chelsea and Di Matteo’s merits. They were more efficient and one is not obliged to play like Barca. Bayern got 81237 corners, Chelsea only one but Drogba scored with a header. Cry me a river but that’s the way it is. Football is not about beauty points, we as Roma fans should know that by now.

Remember to keep those beverages close at all times gentlemen. Here’s to surviving another week of Roma madness! Ciao!

“Am I the last bandiera in Italian football? Unfortunately yes, but I hope to play for a long time yet. I was moved seeing all those tears. I thought to myself that my moment is coming up too, because that is my generation retiring.” – Francesco Totti, 2012.