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Briefs: There Are More Things To Life Than Waiting For Mattia Destro

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That's what they tell me, anyway. I've yet to see proof of such majestic nonsense.

- Ivan Piris: In the house. Or at least the medical facility. Signing is right around the corner. Vitals: 23, Paraguayan RB, has no European experience, low risk, potentially high reward, etc. He's a Sabatini Special, in other words. (#4 on the menu; can also be ordered by pointing at a South American map and nodding.)

Someday we'll discuss how Rodrigo Taddei is the only proven fullback on this roster.

Today is not that day. No day will be that day, actually. Just pretend like it's not happening, even though it is. Denial works.

(Aleandro Rosi is something. It's not a proven fullback, that much I know.)

- Mattia Destro: There's an analogy here. Like 30-something bachelorette comes home to aged mother who incessantly badgers over the absence of grandchildren and a husband.

Just stop asking already - it'll happen when she meets Mr. Right.

I am so sorry for that.

- Nico Lopez: Interest being leveraged by Siena and Catania. Mine is not.

(Though let's be honest: did anyone expect him to be snagging Serie A loans so soon? That's moderately impressive.)

- Marco Borriello: The latest club desiring to take on Marco as a squad player and completely waste what he actually has to offer the game is Tottenham. This will be 30,000 goals by the time October rolls around.

Look, Marco's never going to lead the All-World XI, but the man can put in a solid 15 tallies for a European club during the domestic season, work hard for the team, keep Prandelli interested, and land any member of the female sex within a 50...0 mile radius. One of those things has value to a club which wants him for more than spot duty. Might be the goals. Might not.

He also took center stage in this photo. Come on.

(There is absolutely no reason he should not be playing for Fiorentina. None. Outside of his wages, which is actually a rather big reason. Never mind.)