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Totti Tuesday: ‘WAGs, globalization and cappuccino’

CESENA, ITALY - MAY 13: supporters of AS Roma attend the Serie A match between AC Cesena and AS Roma at Dino Manuzzi Stadium on May 13, 2012 in Cesena, Italy.  (Photo by Mario Carlini / Iguana Press/Getty Images)
CESENA, ITALY - MAY 13: supporters of AS Roma attend the Serie A match between AC Cesena and AS Roma at Dino Manuzzi Stadium on May 13, 2012 in Cesena, Italy. (Photo by Mario Carlini / Iguana Press/Getty Images)
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Soooo, goodbye Euro 2012, hello to silly season as of July 1st! And more names thrown onto the pile of bodies supposedly linked to Roma, but firmly denied by their agents like Laziale denying goat abuse: Bradley (Chievo Verona) and Tachtsidis (Genoa but loaned to Hellas Verona). Great. The last thing we needed in our already heated summer mercato was a Genoa derby.
Some other things have started to roll since last week: Castan, Dodò, a possible return of Gabriel ‘I want ketchup on my fries’ Heinze and my love for Sara Carbonero and Sami Khedira’s WAG.

Roma sign Nesta (no, not that one)

Apparently, we signed Nesta’s 12-year-old nephew. Needless to say, it’s impossible to say if this is a good move or not. I’ll come back at that in six-seven years time. Please remind me, thanks.
I’m ok with it though, as long as we don’t sign any of Paolo Di Canio’s relatives.

The next [enter random Brazilian footballer here]

José Rodolfo Pires Ribeiro aka Dodò: Brazilian talent, 20-year-old left back, youth international, Manchester United wanted him too, dubbed the ‘next Roberto Carlos’ blablabla yadda yadda yadda… Hey, does someone know how Crescenzi’s doing? Or Nego? They play left back too and they’re quite cheap because we already frikkin’ own them!
Unlike Nesta’s nephew, we’ll soon know more about the kid. Could be an exciting prospect but could be a Guillermo Burdisso 2.0 too. He’ll fit in quite nicely thanks to the South-American enclave so that shouldn’t be a problem. Welcome to Roma kid.

The Police - De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da (via ThePoliceVEVO)

Not only have we signed ‘the next Roberto Carlos’, we also are very close to the ‘next Lucio’, namely 25-year-old CB Leandro Castan. Also from Corinthians. Good, so now we only need the next ‘Emerson, Rivaldo, Ronaldo (fat one), Cafu, Roque Junior, Juninho, Kaka and Rogerio Ceni’ right? I tell you, DiBenedetto is taking this whole globalization thing to another level.


• Both Juan and HEINZE are called up for pre-season. The latter surprises me because his contract didn’t get extened. Zeman wants him to remain, for now. You know, cauz clearly we don’t have that many Argentines in our team and stuff… Somebody give Zdenek some glasses please.

• This is still a Roma blog so I’ll keep my take on Euro 2012 short: I wasn’t able to watch the final, I was out all weekend. I never imagined Italy would reach the final. The 1-1 draw in the group stage and Italian morale after beating Germany actually made me believe Italy could win this darn thing but alas, Spain saved their best match for last. They were quite simply better on Sunday. The Azzurri didn’t deserve the 4-0 trashing but hey, did Totti only deserve one Scudetto? Accept it and look forward. Give Prandelli two more years and he will deliver a very good Italian side to WC 2014 in Brazil (seriously, too much Brazil in this post). Nice to know: UEFA inserted Daniele in their top 23-man squad of Euro 2012. Enter Manchester City rumours….now!

• Marquinho: voted best leftback of Serie A 2012-2013 and being called the ‘real next Roberto Carlos’ (well, you get the point). You’ve read it here first. And if I’m right, you all owe me a cappuccino on Piazza Navona in Rome.

• Speaking of Rome… Finally. At long last. Finalmente. Yours truly is happy to announce that he will be visiting Rome in mid July. It will be the second time I visit Italy, after Napoli in 2008. Three things are on my to-do list:
1 check the Olimpico and masturbate on it (the thing needed a new paint job after all)
2 visit Trigoria so I can hand over a pack of cigarettes to Zeman (without filters, badass)
3 use this pick-up line to least three five Italian women

If anyone has some great tips about Roma (transportation, places to visit, bars, AS Roma shops, after how many cocktails do Italian women get drunk etc.), I’m all ears at the comment section. Grazie mille.

And for God’s sake, even my weekly quote has *gasp* a Brazilian touch. This is getting way out of control.
“Tomorrow I will be in Italy. I’m going to Roma. A new phase of my career begins now.” – Dodò, 2012.