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Totti Tuesday: ‘Dead wood, iTunes & Spaghetti Bolognese’

Marco Luzzani - Getty Images

There was no Roma match this weekend due to an international break (qualifications for World Cup in Brasil 2014) so it’s gonna be a pretty meager Totti Tuesday this week. No p(j)anic buttons, no Zemanlandia, no Totti backheels, no laughing at Lopez’ teeth or suspicious fouls called in favor of Juventus and Inter…

The highlight of the week for me was Cassetti visiting Trigoria. Yes, THAT Cassetti, the rightback. The man we all so desperately wanted to ship out this very summer, referring to him as ‘dead wood’ or ‘Hitler Haircut’. And now he’s a headliner in my post. Somewhere, Piris is crying. So no review whatsoever but I do have a load of notes in store for you. Let’s begin our weekly quest through Romalaland.


• Goicoechea is finally at Trigoria (yes I wrote it without having to use backspace). I practised his name by spelling it hundred times on Microsoft Office Word, the last twenty times I did it blindfolded while hanging upside down and with handcuffs. Because you know, the guy’s special.

• The Primavera boys won the Supercup against Inter. Among the starters were Svedkauskas, Lucca and Bumba. There were only six Italians starting the game which means not only the first team but also our Primavera side is going on a ‘globalization tour’.
Some of the foreigners seem to flourish under De Rossi senior like Bumba, Tallo, Lopez or Nego but let’s hope there are still some Florenzi’s, Viviani’s and Scurto's Curci’s Cerci"s Galasso's Romagnoli’s waiting at the door.

Ps: giving that link above, just this little titbit: I really dig the club’s new site, A huge improvement and one of the good things of the ‘Americanisation’. Lots of info, pics, online services and other stuff. Remember the old site, under Rosella Sensi?

• Zeman’s son got sacked right after our famous 1-3 win in Inter, ouch. Karel Zeman trained Alma Juventus Fanosomething from the lower regions of Italian football, Serie U(nderworld) if you’d like. Cheer up Karel, it’s like bridge, darts, snooker, petanque, music and baking cakes: can’t beat them oldies.

• Stop the presses, call the White House, assemble the Avengers!! Cassetti is our last minute defensive addition for this season! ….. Not really, Marco’s just homesick and hates England. He signed with Watford (second division, England’s Serie B) and had some spare time so visited Trigoria and trained alongside Totti and co for old times sake.
I expect Doni, Petrucci and Borini to visit us next week while singing Kumbaya My Lord at a campfire near Trastevere while burning the Union Jack.

• (by courtesy of someone in the comment section some days ago) The iTunes list of some Roma people including Baldini, Saba and Osvaldo.
My thoughts? Osvaldo’s a big bad rock ‘n rolla, Sabatini’s got taste too, no Flo Rida song on Florenzi’s list while Nico Lopez has a very strange taste in music (who the f*ck are Wisin y Yandel and Tony Dize?).

• Italy’s 2-2 draw in Bulgaria: meh. Osvaldo scored twice: yay! DDR injured himself during the game: meh. Not wise of Daniele, he should have watched the game in the stands or at the bench. He wasn’t 100% after the Inter game but he has so much spirit for both Roma and the Azzurri jerseys. Now he’s out for about twenty-thirty days and could miss the Juve game (September 29). But Florenzi to the rescue: yay! Bologna’s up first and I dig a Florenzi-Tachtisidis-Pjanic mid. Or a possible Marquinho inclusion (seriously, no one puts him in his starting eleven but he still manages to score 9/10, he just has ‘it’).
Another fun thingy: Prandelli could opt for a Destro-Osvaldo frontline against Malta, a fully Roman attack. That can only benefit us in the long run as they get 1) more experience and 2) more chemistry among themselves. Thanks Cesare!

• I’m seriously considering pressing charges against FIFA. Inserting an international break after only two weeks of Zemandlandia is outrageous, you don’t even find this kind of torture in all seven SAW movies.

To end, a small anecdote. Believe it or not but I dreamed last night that I was eating Spaghetti BOLOGNESE with Zeman in a restaurant somewhere in Rome (really, I swear on my grandfather’s grave)… Does this mean we’ll trash Bologna 5-0 next weekend? We’ll find out by the time my next Totti Tuesday goes online, arrivederci!

“There is little to add when discussing his ability, everyone can see it. Totti’s the best I’ve ever played alongside. He sees things that us mere mortals don’t. It’s so easy to play when he is there in the team with you.”
– Pablo Daniel Osvaldo