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Welcome To The Newest Chiesa di Totti

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One more time for the children.

Paolo Bruno - Getty Images

This thing has had so many iterations it's beginning to form an identity crisis. "I don't know who I am."

Me neither, love. But you're fabulous.

This is the new new: SBN United. Something of an identity overhaul and quite frankly, a foray into the truly amazing. And this is not me toeing the company line: I value form over function, thus I am falling head over heels. I assume it also has some functional improvements, but I don't quite care - in comparison to the last and many mainstream media sites, it looks amazing and that's all that matters. (I'm available for flawless dating advice as well.)

Funny thing: Roma Offside came about when I was recuperating from an operation and had some time on my hands, this married to the frustration of Roma lacking an English voice on the interwebs. Somehow that became popular - a clear indication we need all hope the Mayans were right. Then the original Chiesa di Totti was divined as a method of publishing the delightful emails I was trading with a couple of people who were, still are, better than me. And frankly, the original CdT was by far the superior of the two, you just had to live inside our maniacal minds to understand just what the hell was going on. Though that's certainly not to imply we understood it either. Actually, and I've mentioned this several times, the best stuff is that which you'll never see published: the new guys are hilarious. (Sorry.)

And now...this.

We're still pretty new here, fresh kids on the block, really, but already have seen quite a few changes. Which I think means our parents never loved us? But, there will also be more changes. Or: additions. Or: comebacks...? Perhaps. Suffice it to say: things are happening.

Enjoy the sights, the sounds, and the tangible evidence of evolution. We're thrilled to be here - this finally feels like church.