Nike x Roma: The 2014-15 Kits (Maybe)

Not content with visions of Javier Pastore and fears of losing Dutch Jesuus to the fun and sun of Manchester, RomaNews has offered us a glimpse at what is said to be next year's kit, the first in conjunction with Brand Nike. They are as yet unsponsored, but imagine either a big VW logo or a Big Mac with an American flag planted in the center. Something along those lines. The leaked photo of two dudes wearing the actual shirts looks far inferior to the graphic rendering, which was ripped from the torso of the statue of a Roman god whose body is cut out of marble, also known as Borriello, Marco. They are also, in a word, once again retro (62/63, to be exact), but we'll have to wait to see the real thing - it looks nice in theory, less so in the actual photograph.

As is a sort of theme with the mocks so far, the crest has been scaled to aid those with vision loss as well as having the capacity to be removed from the shirt and used as a flotation device in case of emergency. In short: it's huge. Huger than crests normally are for other clubs. (We joke but this could be a genius ploy for the matches in Sicily. Think about it.) It also looks particularly poor on the away shirt in the sneaky camera phone image, while the OG crest from the computer generated image is sex on a stick. Also a Borriello reference. Truth told the "actual shirts" look more like polos than than the skin tight Dri-fit we expect from Nike, so clearly those rumors of Chinese investment are real and Nike will make four legit kit models but production of the actual shirts will consist entirely of knockoffs to be worn in matches and also sold on eBay 100% AUTHENTIC SELLER where that small will fit like a quad-XL and make it through a half-wash cycle before it magically disintegrates into unicorn dust and man tears.

Or perhaps in summation we merely have this: if you're in really excellent shape, they're likely to look phenomenal. If not, they won't.

So basically they're like every other item of clothing.