clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The Future Ex-Roma Manager Power Poll: 1st Edition

Let's be honest: because I had nothing better to do last evening.

Gabriele Maltinti

Having run down the list of potentials, it seems only fitting to put them into some sort of list which can be gobbled up on a semi-regular basis. "Semi-regular basis" meaning "whenever we care enough to get around to it" - standard procedure then. A power poll seems a good idea, because why not, right?

There is no real system, just good old hunches and all that "feeling" mumbo jumbo which turns men into immortals and us into "Oh, so you were wrong again." Most of it is the likelihood of being next year's coach at the time of publication, but whimsy may take over at any given moment. Such as the fact that Christian Panucci nearly topped this list based solely on the merits of "sideline style." Which puts Serse Cosmi and Neal Caffrey in the top three, despite one of them being a fictional television character. (Hint: it's Serse.)

Every few weeks or so it'll be amended accordingly.

Future Ex-Roma Manager Power Poll: 1st Edition

1. AA

You ain't the champ 'til you beat the champ. Right now, he's the champ.

2. Walter Mazzarri

One gets the feeling he's just ready for a new challenge and his most likely destination thereafter is Roma or another Champions League/quasi-Champions League club. The problem for him is he deserves a chance above Napoli, yet...who's his option? The city of Milan right now, but one gets the feeling both of those clubs will seek a higher-profile name next. Inter? Perhaps. Milan? Unlikely. (If L-word continues their plummet, he'd seem a fit there, too.)

3. Cesare Prandelli

The only problem here is that whole gap year problem. Are they willing to eat a year for a coach? Maybe not "eat a year" so much as "wink wink, nudge nudge." If they do, are they going to come out and say it, or simply appoint Aurelio for another year before saying, "Oh, yeah, by the way, Prandelli has agreed to join us." on the Sunday morning of Week 38 in 2014? Everything about Prandelli fits this club and its ideologies. He's the perfect fit. Except for the fact that he's currently in a relationship, you homewrecking bastards.

4. Manuel Pellegrini

Pellegrini stayed at Villarreal. For years. All of this despite his early success which meant he could've run to a number of other, more alluring clubs. That's like being a brilliant, nice guy with model looks yet dating a completely average girl who's just a sweetheart. Dude's got character. He just might stick out the Malaga thing.

5. Max Allegri

Is he getting canned? Who the hell knows.

If he is canned, he's probably Roma's next coach, sadly. If he's not, he's, well...he's not. His fate may rest on Mario Balotelli's continued form and ability to remember to take his medication.

6. Laurent Blanc

Probably quietly a bigger fan of Blanc than letting on, yet also believe him to be overrated. No, that doesn't make sense.

Welcome to Roma.

The alternative to his non-hiring in January was their desire to wait and see who's available in the summer if he wasn't going to sit on a Prandelli In 2014 Contract of 18 months. His hat is still in the ring, if kicked slightly toward the edge now.

7. Roberto Mancini

The problem with this is its feasibility. Oil Drums FC of Manchester's sugar sheikhs are not going to be happy with a coach who led their club to a UEFA League knockout spot. The GDP of a small nation should buy some guarantees and Champions League kayo football is one of them, not to mention Roberto's never shown the capacity to lead a team beyond the expected into the pantheons of the astonishing. He's going to be unemployed in the summer for damn sure.

But he is a coach with big match, big club experience who knows how to, at the very least, avoid screwing up basic expectations over the course of a season. The problem is his Lazio past, for one, though it should be pointed out the current regime is attempting to reel in a new fanbase which doesn't even know what the @#$% a 'Lazio' is ("Is that a parakeet?"), but also the fact that he's just a bit of a fucking assclown in general. Plus his kids will join the payroll. Dude. Get a babysitter.

No, not a fan.

8. Christian Panucci

Perhaps the appointments of Luis and Zeman aren't simply something the current crop of owners will use in order to learn from their mistakes. Perhaps it's a philosophy James, Franco and Walter will use to push this club forward: we make radical decisions, so screw you and screw them too. I'm okay with that.

There's every chance Christian Panucci gets a coaching shot soon. No statement is larger for Roma than appointing Panucci.

And there's nobody who'd be harder or more entertaining to fire when Prandelli becomes available. Like you wouldn't pay to see that.

9. Vincenzo Montella

Hail Mary territory. What on earth would possess him to leave Firenze for Roma right now? Anything? Christian Panucci beating him up and telling him to take it so he can have the Fiorentina job?

Well, that's one.

10. Stefano Pioli


11. Frank De Boer

If this list was based on desire, he'd be at the tippity-top, having left Amsterdam with Kenneth Vermeer so that Ken could, once again, supplant Maarten Stekelenburg and we could all watch Maarten have a complete mental breakdown before our very eyes.

Little too excited thinking about the possibility of all this.

12. Carlo Ancelotti

If James & Co. decides to sell the club to an Arab sheikh who actually has the money this time, who then purchases FC Barcelona, moves it to Rome, and merges the whole thing with Roma, then yes, Carletto will be Roma's coach. Otherwise, he's going to enjoy making ridiculous sums of cash to shop the Champs-Elysees, let a football club rest on the shoulders of Zlatan Ibrahimovic and sit on the bench not wondering, but knowing what color briefs David Beckham is wearing on a given day.

And all of a sudden, coaching PSG sounds like the dream job for a woman.