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Totti Today #16: The laughable list of ludicrousness

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What does a sane Giallorosso do while midst in an international break? Thirteen days without his one true love, parents-in-law, Kaley Cuoco poster, pets and Dumb & Dumber dvd aside? Well, he digs into Roma’s archive of course, searching for something gold and shiny. What he found was quite frankly a bit shocking…

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Well, I may have exaggerated that last bit. I did deepen myself into some recent player stats and numbers and came up with some quite, errr, fun things. The result is this Bible Of Roman Ridiculousness and Idiotic Enumeration, including a Loony Loria Occurrence. Also known as the B.O.R.R.I.E.L.L.O. (please, hold your enthusiasm). Ready? Here we go:

  • Since Dodo left, no one on the current Roma team is born in 1992 while every year of the eighties is represented, from 1980 to 1989. Long live The Cure, Duran Duran, The Police and A-ha!

  • Roma’s squad consists of 17 different nationalities, divided over 3 continents (Europe, South-America and Africa). South-America has 5 representatives: Maicon, Iturbe, Castan, Sanabria and Paredes. 17+3=20. 20/5= 4. 4 is the shirt number of a certain Michael Bradley, a former Roma player from one of the missing continents (North-America).

  • 17 is also the age of Roma owned youth product Daniel De Silva, another missing link in group of continents (Australia).

  • ‘AS’ Roma indeed. At least nine players have an ‘as’ in their names. Astori, Douglas Maicon, Lukasz Skorupski, Vasilis Torosidis, Gervinho Kouassi, Castan etc.

  • Let’s hope we see a partnership of Astori-Romagnoli very soon…

  • The average age of AS Roma is 26.4 (all called-up players this season, including Curci, Somma, Verde…). 26+4= 30. Nainggolan has so far made a total 28 Serie A appearances for Roma in two seasons. 28+2=…30. Radja’s age? 26.
  • Only two players were born in 1980. One in the first month (January 16, Keita) and the other in the last month (December 20, Cole), basically separating them almost an entire year. There are only nine days between the birthdays of Florenzi and Destro: March 11 and 20 of the same year, 1991.

  • Torosidis has worn the Giallorosso shirt 35 times in Serie A since January 2013. The same as his shirt number. Francesco would have to buy an XXL in his case: 569 Roma appearances in Serie A and still counting.

  • The height difference between De Sanctis (190cm) and Iturbe(172cm) is 18, the same as their difference in weight (86Kg vs 68Kg).

  • Nainggolan and Ucan both weigh approx 68Kg. Though Ucan’s 13cm taller.

  • Five Brazilians left Roma in 2014: Taddei, Dodo, Marquinho, Bastos and Toloi. Together they scored 33 goals for Roma in Serie A. 33 is the age of one of the lone Brazilian survivors, Maicon.

  • The number 27: Gervinho wears it, is 27 years old and is born on May 27. Roma’s previous no27? Goalkeeper Julio Sergio. 2014-2015 is season no2 at Roma for Gervinho while JSB was AS Roma property for seven seasons (2006-2013, including one little loan spell at Lecce). 2 and 7, 27.

  • This is Totti’s 23rd season in Serie A, making his debut against Brescia in the 87’ minute thanks to trainer Boskov. 23x87=2001. The year of Francesco’s one and only Scudetto.

  • Ok, here comes the big one: Simone Loria. Now 38 years ,notorious ex-Roma defender and born in 1976, wore the no15 shirt. He scored 3 goals in 15 games for the Giallorossi. Those goals came against Catania, Inter and Juve: minute 14, minute 81 and minute 48 to be precise. Here we go: 38+1+9+7+6+15+3+15+14+81+48=…. 237. Guess who currently scored 237 goals in Serie A AND is also born in 1976? Yup, good old Francesco.

I’m sorry you had to wrestle your way through all this ‘valuable’ information. But never underestimate the power of numbers, my friends. Until next week!