Agent: Destro Happy Staying in Rome

We touched upon it briefly a few weeks ago, but, due to our natural biases, we really only confront transfer rumors from a Roma perspective. That is to say, we seldom attempt to empathize with the poor souls pillaged by Walter Sabatini each and every summer. Imagine being a Lyon fan in the summer of 2011. Your beloved club was only two years removed from being a Champions League semi-finalist and just gutted out a third place finish in Ligue 1 to reach next year's CL playoff round. All is right with the world, until one morning you wake up to the news that your club just sold one of the most promising midfielders in the world, Miralem Pjanic, to Roma for a measly €11m. You're shocked, confused and, quite frankly, a little pissed. How could your club give up a player so young, and for so little? Why was their no prior warning? Who will take his spot? Why the fuck do I follow a team that folds so easily?

Roma may not be the biggest club in the world, but they're powerful and reputable enough to avoid being a carcass on the side of the transfer rumor road, torn limb-from-limb, every last ounce of marrow sucked out by British vultures.

So it was quite unnerving to be on the losing end of this nightmare scenario yesterday when, fresh off a long day of work and our dinners barely digested in our bellies, we were deluged with stories that Roma were bending to Chelsea's will, forking over Mattia Destro for the shell of the striker once known as Fernando Torres. The story originated with the Times and eventually took root with Football Italia, ESPN, and even our very own Chelsea site, but who could really blame them for being excited?

This rumor, let alone the actual move, is beyond comprehension. Destro is younger and more productive than Torres--Destro's 13 league goals last season, which came in only 20 appearances, equals Torres' haul from the last two seasons combined--plus, he can grow a better beard and he's a phenomenal dancer. You don't give up a package that sweet.

Destro's agent has now stepped in to quell the riot on the streets of Rome, indicating that, while his client is interested in Chelsea, he would be "more than happy staying in Rome" That doesn't really give us any definitive idea of Destro's future--everyone would love playing for Chelsea, they're stacked this year--and while he denied the rumored Torres swap, he did admit that Chelsea is interested in Destro. So I suppose we'll chalk that one up as a temporary relief.

Now, if Sabatini could somehow finagle a Torres-to-Roma move in and of itself, with Chelsea picking up a large chunk of tab just to rid themselves of a sunk investment, then we can talk. Torres would be an ideal reserve for this Roma squad, he's younger, bigger and more athletic than Roma's current reserve forward, Marco Borriello, but if we're counting on Torres to take Destro's place, then we're in for a world of trouble.

We will, as always, keep you updated, but one thing is for certain, being a pawn in someone else's transfer game is unnerving.