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Totti Today #53: Drama Queen

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Some people might remember my Roman parody of Coolio’s song Gangster’s Paradise, which I used as a kinda sorta ironic way to open the Serie A season 2013-2014. Now it’s time to do another one. And which better band to choose than ABBA, right? Dancing Queen! Only this time, with some drama involved…

Giuseppe Bellini/Getty Images

Less than a week before Serie A officially kicks off! So you know it’s that time again: time to party and celebrate with a Roma tinted cover of an appropriate Swedish pop song everyone loves (but they don’t want to admit it)! For those still interested in Coolio’s one two years ago, you can find it here. For those interested in ABBA, a lot of you I reckon, look no further and enjoy! Tip: Open a matching YouTube video while reading/singing/shouting this. Really, instant classic.

(funky disco intro)

You can cry, you can strive, to drink Kool-Aid for the rest of your life

See that club, making a scene, digging the drama queen.

Sunday night and the lighting low

Looking for a Romanian stream to go

Where they show the right channel, getting in the swing

You come in to look for Totti the King

Rudi thinks that he’s the guy

Night is young and our expectations are high

With a bit of Olimpico chants, everything is fine

You’re in the mood for a win

But the players get under your skin

Roma’s the drama queen, frus-tra-ting, always plain boring

Drama queen, feels the need for clusterfucking

You can cry, you can strive, to drink Kool-Aid for the rest of your life

See that club, making a scene, digging the drama queen.

Salah’s a teaser, he turns fans on

He leaves defenders burned and then he’s gone

Looking for another assist, anyone will do

Totti has a good scoring chance

And when he digs it, we dance

Roma’s the drama queen, frus-tra-ting, always plain boring

Drama queen, feels the need for clusterfucking

You can cry, you can strive, to drink Kool-Aid for the rest of your life

See that club, making a scene, digging the drama queen.

We are all digging the drama queen….

(funky disco music fades)