The Great Roma Questionnaire Extraordinaire: 2015 Edition, Part II

We'll jump straight into part II of our questionnaire, which deals with everything from Edin Dzeko to Chicken McNuggets. If you missed part one, never fear, it's right here.

16. How many goals will Dzeko score?

Kevin: As I said earlier, I can see Dzeko scoring 23-25 goals next season for Roma.

Bren: 18. Impressive but nowhere near his expectations at this point, which are probably a bit inflated

Dhaw: 20. In all competitions.

Sam: 19.

Eddy: I see Dzeko coming very close to 20. I say 18.

JonAS: We can't risk putting too much pressure on the guy. He'll do just fine in Roma but I don't see him scoring 20 goals, defences in Italy are different than ones in England or Germany, more cunning and compact. I'll settle for 15, which is one goal per million.

17. Is there anyone on this team capable of getting 10 goals and 10 assists?

Kevin: There's a couple of candidates on this Roma team who could net ten goals and tally ten assists next season. Miralem Pjanic is an obvious candidate, as he was pretty close to that stat line last year. Adem Ljajic and Edin Dzeko will probably score more goals, but could rack up close to ten assists as well.

Bren: Gerson circa 2019. Totti won't play enough to come close, Pjanic wont score enough and Ljajic doesn't have the consistency yet.

Dhaw: Francesco Totti

Sam: I'm with the D man.

Eddy: In Serie A, I could see Pjanic getting very close but coming up short in the goal-tally. Idem for Totti.

JonAS: I'm afraid not. Pjanic and Ljajic could get close though. Even Yao could get close if he acts less selflessly.

18. What will Francesco Totti's stat line look like this year—matches, goals, assists?

Kevin: Totti should be playing the Champions League and important Serie A matches as a super sub hopefully. With that being said, his stat line should reflect that, so close to ten goals and ten assists for il capitano.

Bren: I'll say 20 appearances, 9 goals and 8 assists

Dhaw: 28 - 10 - 12

NANF: 24-10-10

Sam: You don't super-sub Totti for champions league. Start with your best team. 22-11-10.

Eddy: 25 Serie A, 9 Goals. 7 Champions League, 2 Goals. 1 Coppa Italia, 0 Goals.

JonAS: 8 goals, 9 assists in 30 appearances (season overall). He'll be omnipresent but will rarely play 90min. Not that bad, there are enough of capable men right now to fill his boots: Dzeko, Ljajic, Salah, Florenzi,...

19. Totti, is this the last we'll see of him?

Kevin: I hope not... didn't a certain someone say they'd carry Totti on their shoulders to Stadio Della Roma if he had to? Where is he now?

Bren: I think he's got one more, he has never really intimated this was it and he's still remarkably effective in a reduced role.

Dhaw: Nope.

Sam: Hell no.

Eddy: Not yet.

JonAS: His contract says so but I don't believe it. Bar an ugly injury, he might prolong for one more year. I think he has his mind set on the magical number 40, like Maldini. It would be shame to stop at 39. But the decision is all up to him. *grabs napkin*

20. Roma has a few reclamation projects this year (Rudiger, Strootman, Maicon, Szczesny), who is the most crucial to our success and why?

Kevin: Rudiger forsure. He was brought in to be the third defender, and is backing up a guy who hasn't played in a year. And Gymober is behind him as 4th CB. As incredible as Strootman is, the midfield can function without him. As far as Szczesny is concerned, if he flops, Roma has MDS to save the day. And if Maicon goes down injured, Roma's Lahm can cover capably (shouts out Dhaw).

Bren: Gotta be Big Doug. Roma's midfield managed well enough without Strootman last year, though he was certainly missed, but in-form Maicon is something unparalleled on this squad.

Dhaw: Daniele De Rossi.

Sam: Easily big Doug purely because of the lack of serious alternative, otherwise I would have said Kev.

Eddy: Maicon is such a threat when healthy/engaged enough to give it his all. With him, our offense and defense takes on a whole new dimension.

JonAS: Rudiger. Still injured but he must be ready in time to give Manolas or Castan a breather. He'll get a lot of minutes (look at Astori and Yanga's numbers last season) so he needs to perform immediately. I'm curious yet nervous to see if he has what it takes and is able to fulfill his promise (which he has). *grabs another napkin*

21. Who's poised to breakout for Roma this year?

Kevin: Leandro Paredes should surprise many, and could have a breakout season as a backup midfielder.

Bren: See, I think Ucan gets more minutes than Paredes, but I'm going to say Manolas. He's still awfully young and last year should have been a springboard to much greater things, so I'm optimistic, but I also think Iturbe can earn back some positive credit this season.

Dhaw: Miralem Pjanic, this is going to be his year. It's now or never. If he fails to perform consistently throughout this upcoming season then Roma should think of cashing out on him next summer.

Sam: Can I say Dzeko? I'm saying Dzeko.

Eddy: Castan. He was being overshadowed by Benatia in that year together. Last year was supposed to see him finally get the recognition he deserved. The injury all but delayed that for one year. Daje Sceriffo!

JonAS: I hope Woj grows into our long-term solution. He's had a more than decent pre-season and it even looks like he'll get the nod over Morgan against Hellas, that's really saying something. Woj is 13 years younger than MDS, it's time for a change. I'm also expecting much more from Iturbe this time around. 2 goals in 27 games as a forward is just plain poor, time to do something about those stats, kid.

22. Create a conspiracy theory: what's with Rudi Garcia and Gervinho?

Kevin: I'm not touching this one with a 39 and half foot pole hahaha.

Bren: There's an incriminating video of some sort out there, I'll leave it up to you to figure out the participants.

NANF: They have to be related somehow.

Dhaw: White guilt.

Sam: Gervinho hooked him up with secret free flights.

Eddy: Rudi charmed Gervinho's model-half sister during their time together at Lille and has never stopped feeling bad about it.

JonAS: Truth be told, Gervinho's not really 28 years, but 51 years (hence his receding hairline). So basically he's as old as Rudi. They were highschool buddies and it's only natural Rudi prefers his old pal.

23. On a scale of 1 to Adem Ljajic at the bottom of a Nutella Jar, how pissed are you at Alessio Romagnoli?

Kevin: At first, Ljajic at the bottom of the Nutella Jar, trying to scrape every last bit of Nutella, but not being able to reach the very bottom because his hand was too fat. Then, after sleeping on it, a disturbingly low 1. So pretty much normal for a Roma fan.

Bren: I've cooled down a bit as well. I don't really care who he supported as a kid, but giving up on that kind of talent will always irk me.

Dhaw: No reason to be mad at him. What he does behind closed doors is none of our business. He is a kid for fucks sake. As if some of you never did anything stupid in your teens. Get a grip.

Sam: Apoplectic with rage......that we sold him! Sold our CB for the next decade so we can dick around with a constantly changing defence. I'm amazed that idiots can be angry at him wearing a Lazio top with NO CONTEXT and in the same breath praising our administration for selling the most promising Italian CB in years.

Eddy: I'm at the Ljajic-dug-through-the-jar-and-dug-to-the-HQ-of-Ferrero point of the scale. These Gnoli's ain't loyal.

JonAS: Not much since we got a decent sum for him. 30m, that's a hell lot of Nutella jars, we could cover all Roma players in Nutella with that... To be honest, I didn't expect him to leave so soon. Too bad this prodigy (with an awesome cool name) didn't opt to stay and fight for his place. I desperately wanted to see a CB duo of ManolAS and ROMAgnoli...

24. Any clubs you'd love Roma to meet in the Champions League?

Kevin: Arsenal. The two clubs met some time ago in Champions League and it was an epic two legs, with Arsenal winning on penalties. It would be interesting to see the two squads face each other today.

Bren: Preferably no one we faced last year, but PSG would be kind of cool, Dzeko vs Zlatan

Dhaw: Chelsea, PSG, Real Madrid & Manchester United.

Sam: Man UTD, Arsenal or Chelsea. I really dislike EPL smugness.

Eddy: The weaker the better. PSV, Valencia, Dinamo (if we're in Pot 4), Borussia Monchengladbach (if we're in Pot 3 and because of coefficient play).

JonAS: You mean clubs who spank us 7-1? Sure, I'll have some of those! Like Kevin, I'd love Roma to take  revenge on Arsenal for THAT penalty shootout in 2009. Barca, Real and a clash against Mourinho's Chelsea would be fun too. Oh and please a Belgian side for the love of God, it's been way too long since Roma faced a team from my country.

25. Will we make it out of the group stages?

Kevin: No comment.

Bren: Honestly, I think so. Remember, there was a slim chance going into the final match days, but the lack of depth is obviously going to be a huge limiting factor.

Dhaw: Nope.

Sam: With that defence? Absolutely not.

Eddy: I'll never tell.

JonAS: Depends entirely on the draw. A group of death like last season? Probably not. But with a bit of luck... For example: Benfica, Basel, Valencia, Roma. Not bad.

26. Is this a make or break year for Garcia? For Sabatini?

Kevin: This is definitely a make or break year for Sabatini, probably not for Garcia though unfortunately.

Bren: Sabatini, absolutely. Garcia, I'm not so sure. If he gets Roma in the CL for the third straight year, there's not much justification.

Dhaw: I will be very surprised if Rudi Garcia & Walter Sabatini still have their jobs by the end of this season.

Sam: It is the very definition of make or break.

Eddy: Yes for Sabatini and even more yes for Garcia.

JonAS: After this season, I think we (and the suits) might get fed up with Rudi and vice versa. It's just a matter of keeping things fresh and exciting. Just like with Capello and Spalletti, his time will be up. Unless of course Roma wins some silverware. Walter, he might stay a little longer if the most of his signings (Falque, Dzeko, Salah, Rudiger, Woj) succeed.

27. Pick one Roma player you'd let date your sister and tell us why

Kevin: Totti, because one would hope they'd get to meet their sister's boyfriend sooner or later...

Bren: Ha, good response. Ucan seems like a good kid, plus my sisters are all really tall so that works out too.

Sam: Florenzi, then his Nonna would sort of be my Nonna!

Dhaw: Adem Ljajic. I need a Playstation partner and need someone to dig in the special edition 1kg Nutella jar.

Eddy: Totti can do no wrong. He could date both of my sisters, have them get into a fight once they realized, and I'd still have his back.

JonAS: I don't have a sister but I'd let Borriello date my mom, is that ok? Please punish me daddy, I've been a bad boy lately... Ahem, next question!

28. Pick one Roma player you wouldn't help if you saw them on the side of the road with a flat tire

Kevin: Victor Ibarbo. He's the worst.

Bren: De Rossi, he can probably just push it home anyway.

Sam: Salah, I probably wouldn't realise it is him. He looks very generic, Mediterranean - Middle Eastern.

NANF: Maicon, walking home might help keep him in better shape.

Dhaw: Gervinho.

Eddy: Ljajic.

JonAS: Radja. Because his mohawk probably was the reason why he had a flat tire so it's his own damn fault.

29. Pick one Roma player you'd like to split 20 McNuggets with

Bren: I'd say Maicon simply because he can probably house a 20 pack, but then again, that'd be a reason not to share with him. I'd go with Falque because he seems like the quiet unassuming dude who secretly has hilarious stories to share.

Kevin: Florenzi. I just can't stop picturing him bolting for the play structure there the minute we finish those nuggets.

Sam: Gervinho, because he'd give the nuggets away just before he is about to eat them.

NANF: Lobant, Just seems like to nice a guy not to.

Dhaw: Victor Ibarbo. I'd also get a Banana Split.

Eddy: De Sanctis. I would just love to see him yell the order to the woman behind the register.

JonAS:  Salah, he seems a nice lad... Wait, as a muslim he is allowed to eat chicken right?

30. Finally, Roma's player of the year is?

Kevin: The man, the myth, the legend. Edin Dzeko.

Bren: Miralem Pjanic, he has better finishers around him now, so his life might be quite easy.

Sam: Kevin Strootman, just because.

Dhaw: Francesco Totti.

Eddy: Un capitano, c'e' solo un capitano...

JonAS: A bit unusual decision but I'm going for Castan. He'll be the leader of the defence once again and carry this team to a Scu.... Scuba diving party! No really, he's easily the best defender we've got and we sorely missed him last season. In 2015-2016 he's gonna show us why. Bentornato Leandro!