In yesterday’s discussion of the presumably impending loan of Real Madrid’s Nacho Fernandez, we touched upon Luciano Spalletti’s stated desire for a versatile, left footed central defender, one who can presumably play out wide and/or make the rumored shift to a three man defense more feasible. Well, at long last it looks as if Spalletti’s prayers have been answered—Jesus is coming, y’all!
So, let’s purge our souls of ill will and welcome the second coming to Roma. Juan RRRuan Jesus, as he likes to be called apparently, is reportedly set to join the Giallorossi on an initial one-year loan with a €10 million option to buy, which may or may not be compulsory.
Considering that Jesus already posted his farewell message to Inter fans and was actually with Roma at Pinzolo today, we can safely assume this has moved beyond the realm of mere rumor. As we all know by now, Jesus is making the jump to Roma after starting his professional career with Internacional before moving to Internazionale
Jesus has pretty good size for a defender and has been pretty durable throughout his career, garnering over 130 appearances since turning pro in 2010. While all the component parts are there, he has yet to transform into the finished product, so consider your skepticism well regarded.
Anyway, in honor of this move, here are some songs about Jesus:
Paul Newman-Plastic Jesus
Butch Cassidy put his spin on this American folk classic for Cool Hand Luke, a version which has since been covered by everyone from Jack Johnson to Billy Idol.
Brand New-Jesus Christ
This song marked a dramatic shift for Brand New, transforming from a simple Long Island emo/hardcore band into much, much more. One of my personal favorites.
Green Day-Jesus of Suburbia
You can sit there and laugh all you want, but I dare you to look me in the eye and say you didn’t listen to American Idiot on repeat for an entire summer. Whether it was your divorce, a quarter life crisis or the ebbs and flows of middle school, Green Day was there for you, and god dammit, you better be there for them!
Kanye West-Jesus Walks
Just because it’s one of three songs of his I actually know.
Alright, we’ll leave it at that, but feel free to share your own. Much has been made about Spalletti’s admiration for Jesus’ game, so let’s hope his intuition is right because on paper, this isn’t a terribly exciting move.