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Totti Today #100: Pokémon Player Preview Party!

100! Parrrrrrty edition! This hundredth Totti Today features a massive preview of each AS Roma player of 2016-2017, being compared with his very own, wait for it,… Pokémon partner! Yeah, I’m full of good ideas.

Enrico Locci/Getty Images

Since this thing called Pokémon Go suddenly got very popular worldwide, it’s only natural I must use it in my TT celebration. Because why not? Pokémon are strange creatures, Roma players are strange creatures. It all makes sense. In a way. So let’s get this Pokémon battle started!

*Note: I will only use the Pokémon of the first and oldest generation. I’m a fan, I know the others sucks.

Alisson: Growlithe. Still young and a lot to learn. But he’s eager and if he grows in his role and eventually evolves (Arcanine), then boy, we have a real gem on our hands.

Woj: Psyduck. A weird and funny figure to say the least, acts absently but beware, he can still surprise you with a mighty move every now and then.

Lobont: Porygon. Everybody forgets that this pokémon exists, although he’s quite unique and special. Still, don’t expect a lot from him in a battle.

Peres: Nidorino. Not yet the finished product, but also no rookie. A strong Pokémon and he won’t disappoint. When he reaches his full potential (Nidoking), then you can’t go wrong with this one.

Manolas: Charizard. A fiery type, hot and uncontrolable at times but one of the best Pokémon out there. A must-have in your group, he’ll take the team on his back.

Vermaelen: Hitmonlee. Good with his feet, decent no nonsense Pokémon but don’t expect no real evolutions anymore, what you see is what you get at this age.

Rüdiger: Machoke. A physical presence, strong, quick. Raw at the edges and desperately wants to prove himself. Already improved a lot since last year, let’s hope we can witness his final form (Machamp) in Rome and not Chelsea or Manchester.

Rui: Eeevee. Not much is known of this one yet. Not so special… for now. We still need to see him in action but he has shown promise. How will he turn out for us? Vaporeon, Jolteon, Flareon? Or will he stagnate and remain a meaningless gray Eevee for the rest of his life?

Juan Jesus: Farfetch’d. Strange character this one. Average at best, no harm in having this Pokémon in your party I guess. Just don’t put too much pressure and responsibility on him.

Emerson: Magikarp. Clumsy type yes, but you can’t deny there’s potential in him. Maybe he still doesn’t feel at ease or he longs for a different position. When he has his breakout season, he could be unstoppable and a real force (Gyarados). Alas, we have to wait and see how it turns out. There is still time to level up.

Fazio: Onix. Boy, this is one big mofo. Made of rocks, robust and tough. Perhaps a bit slow but perfect for a more defensive approach during battles.

De Rossi: Pikachu. Loyal to the end, a fan favorite and loved by many. Has always been a part of the gang since the beginning. Can get a bit emotional in the heat of battle though.

Nainggolan: Primeape. Tireless runner, fierce and dangerous, a fighter on the pitch. No team is complete without this type.

Strootman: Tauros. A loyal Pokémon, with a sense of honor. A beast. And quite rare to find as well. Don’t doubt him as he will always give 100% for the team.

Paredes: Dratini. Young and rash, thoughtless sometimes. Has a lot to learn but if the trainer believes in him, he could turn into a very powerful Pokémon (Dragonair), or even a worldbeater (Dragonite). Time will tell but keep this on at all costs.

Gerson: Pidgey. A relatively small, young, innocent Pokémon, yet to enter his prime. He’s at the start of a journey and it will take a lot of effort but his ceiling is so damn high. His trainer needs to have patience but he can turn into a graceful and beautiful finished article (Pidgeot).

Florenzi: Ditto. A very flexible Pokémon, not the strongest out there but he adapts very well to his environment and opponent. Usefull.

Salah: Scyther. Fast as hell, a real menace for the opponent. That’s his main weapon but he has a lot of other attributes that a trainer can find interesting.

El Shaaraway: Rapidash. One of the most elegant, skilfull Pokémon. Torches his way through defences at high velocity and in style.

Perotti: Articuno. Just like Rapidash one of the more elegant Pokémon on the list, beautiful to look at and a joy to work with for trainers. I foresee no real evolution in the near future at his age, still a very good addition to the team.

Iturbe: Doduo. Well, he can run fast, that’s a fact. But his head (or in this Pokémon case: heads) isn’t fully connected with his feet yet. If only he can live up to his potential, then he can evolve into quite a strong asset for the team. He’s talented for sure, just need the right trainer at the right time.

Dzezko: Slowbro. This may sound a bit ironic, but don’t mistake yourself, he can be a real threat. Quite big, slow and at times frustrating to look at, but a household name among trainers and clubs nonetheless. Question is: Does he fit into your tactic?

Totti: Mewto. The most rare and strongest Pokémon of all. One of a kind, the no1 choice of all trainers out there. As old as time, he feels eternal. Everybody wants him, yet only few have the privilige to train him.

So that's it for the hundredth Totti Today, still feel that a certain Pokémon was left out? Don't be shy and comment down below!