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Totti Today’s New Year Special

JonAS celebrates Christmas and NY together with Roma’s most lovely players

Juventus v AS Roma - Serie A Photo by Gabriele Maltinti/Getty Images

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, Andy Williams once sang. And you know what? He’s damn right. Presents, presents, presents everybody! Sadly not for you but for Roma’s players, to thank them for another unforgettable year in Serie A and Europe.

Not just any present though, but a safely designed, developed present thanks to a bunch of thorough research (like, half an hour or so). A record point total in Serie A + topping their tough CL group, well, them boys surely deserve some gifts.

So sit with us around the Christmas tree, read out our wishes for 2018 and start unwrapping those boxes, boys!

We start with you Alisson. Here’s a set of Gillette razor blades and foam for a sensitive skin. See, we like the caveman look, but let’s try something new for 2018, shall we? Beards are soooo 2017. And for you, Skorupski, we have a copy of Mortal Kombat XL for Xbox ONE. Xbox and not Playstation (Sony) because America beats Japan. Hey, we gotta keep the owners happy, they bought all these things after all.

This one’s for you, Florenzi. A voucher for a meal (2 persons) at La Nonna’s Ristorante & Bar in Brooklyn, NY, given with lots of love from the American management. We all know who’s gonna be your date that evening! For Fazio we have a Blu-ray of The Big Friendly Giant from Spielberg, it almost feels like a biography, doesn’t it? Ow don’t grumble Manolas, in fact, you get TWO Blu-Rays: My Big Fat Greek Wedding 1 & 2!

Kolarov, I’m gonna make you a happy man: 5 bottles of premium Slivovitz (Serbian brandy). Please empty them all before midnight on your own so you get drunk enough to forget your Lazio past. For Emerson and Karsdorp I have the same present: the game Assassin’s Creed: Liberation, also abbreviated as ‘ACL’. How charming of me, no? For Peres I have a city guide of Turin, in maroon wrapping paper. Just to remind him of his Torino days and how good he can actually play football.

Ah Nainggolan my boy, for you a box set of Lego Ninjago, enjoy! Strootman gets a ticket for the World Cup 2018 opening game, so there’s at least one Dutchman represented in Russia next year. De Rossi, come here my man. Your present is a cd of Simply Red. A great band. A great color as well. Just try to avoid it at all times on a football pitch.

What did you say? You like music too, Pellegrini? Surprise surprise, I have a cd for you as well: The Communards! With hits like Don’t Leave Me This Way, Smalltown Boy, You Are The World and Never Can Say Goodbye. Take it as a hint, son: stay at Roma.

Next up is Dzeko for whom I have in store: the Blu-ray of Remember The Titans. Yeah, remember when you were a titan, Edin? Schick, time to sit back and relax while reading your favorite new book by the fireplace: Finding Your Element: How to Discover Your Talents and Passions and Transform Your Life from Ken Robinson.

Perotti gets one free laser removal for a tattoo by choice. You see, sometimes the past CAN be undone. For El Shaarawy I have ordered a Ford F-350 pickup truck full with Taft Power hair wax (I need back the pickup though, sorry Stephan). Hi Defrel, this one’s for you. A bag filled with lottery tickets. Your run of bad luck has to end sometime no? Might as well happen in 2018!

Last but not least: Di Francesco. His present: A shiny new pair of glasses from Ray-Ban. Maybe now he can see other formations than the 4-3-3?

As you might have noticed, some people still haven’t received gifts: Lobont, Under, Moreno etc. They’re waiting for your donations in the comment section. Don’t leave them out in the cold during these festivities!

I’d like to end this post by saying a big thanks to you guys for all the support and page views here at Chiesa and particularly my Totti Today. Have a great New Year, best wishes and see you safe and sound in 2018! Ciao!