Totti Today #119: Vino Borriello

In a way, Marco Borriello's like a fine, luxurious wine. Not that I want to keep him locked up in my secret, dark basement, far from civilization, while I go down there from time to time and lick him, take him into my mouth, enjoy every second of it, and then swallow him entirely and in one gulp, nearly having an orgasm and lighting up an expensive cigar afterwards... No, actually, that would be kinda sick, wouldn't it?

I mean a fine wine, because he seems to age so well. Marco, who just turned 35 a week ago, arguably had his best season ever in Italy in 2016-2017. At Cagliari he scored 16 goals in 36 games. Not a small feat if you know Cagliari was most of the time in the lower regions of the table, and his partners in crime were named Farias, Sau or Ibarbo (remember that guy?). Statistically speaking, only in 2008-2009 he did a bit better, with 19 goals in 35 games for Genoa. But he was at his peak back then, nine years younger and surrounded by better players.

Ever since Marco officially left Roma in 2015 (mind you, after three loan spells: Juve, Genoa and West Ham), he turned in some sort of sexy, mysterious Italian gypsy. He played for four teams in the span of two years: Genoa, Carpi, Atalanta and most recently Cagliari. Only at Cagliari he could demonstrate his talent and killer instinct. Don't be mistaken, Marco has that in abundance.

Borriello will never be put in the same category as other great Italian strikers like Inzaghi, Baggio, Vieri, Del Piero, Totti, Pruzzo or Rossi, but he knows Serie A inside out and can still be useful for all teams in Italy, bar Juve. And one of those, is Roma. After his renaissance in Sardegna, Marco was linked with Roma some time ago. He would act as a vice-Dzeko. When I read that story, my body started tingling. Maybe it was because I immediately started to look up some old photos of Marco on Google, maybe because it would seem like one of the smartest deals Monchi could do this Summer.

Like I said before, Marco's 35 now and he knows he's no starting material for clubs like Juve, Inter, Napoli or Roma. But coming off the bench from time to time or start in less demanding games like Crotone, Benevento or SPAL (the club, not the mercenary trainer) might interest Marco. After all, Roma remains one of his most loved teams in his career, next to Genoa. Marco donned the shirt of about 12 different teams in Italy, but always had a special bond with our club and its city. Does it surprise you, a fashionista like him?

Borriello could come in quite cheap and his wages are not the same anymore as in his Milan or Roma days. He could be tempted to return to the Eternal City, even as a third-choice for the striker spot, if Berardi opts to join EDF. With Champions League football secured and the chance to finally play alongside Radja, Dzeko, Perotti or SES up front, why wouldn't he? After all, the man scored 25.000 frikkin' goals for this club!! I kid, I kid but with approx. 100 goals in Serie A and 22 games in CL (six goals, four of them for Roma), he has ample experience and know-how that can prove very useful for this team.

A reliable and Italian back-up, a nice guy to have in the locker room, with a Roman background and an exciting reason for female tifosi in Rome to find their way back to the stadium? Check, check and check. Everybody happy!

Who can say no to a vino Borriello? Time to go to the basement, Monchi!