2021 was quite a special year. After a break of six long years, the world finally welcomed a new James Bond movie: No Time To Die. The 25th one recently came out on DVD and Blu-ray. Jonas releases his inner Santa Claus and gives away all 25 Bond DVDs to Roma players—with a subtle twist and underlying thought of course. Some will be happy, others... not so much. Just like the James Bond franchise, Mourinho’s squad has experienced some ups and downs along the way. Time to unwrap those presents, boys!
25 Bond Films for 25 Roma Players
Rui Patricio: Goldfinger. The good stuff. Oldie but goldie. Withstood the test of time and is still going strong nowadays. Rui has been a consistent performer and literally has golden fingers after saving Roma’s ass a couple of times.
Daniel Fuzato: Moonraker. Ouch, forgettable display, not the finest hour of the franchise and Roma’s season. Maybe, just maybe, after a few more years, it’ll come good. Or not. I’m starting to lose faith in it, to be honest.
Rick Karsdorp: For Your Eyes Only. Decent. Actually very decent. I didn’t like it quite as much in the beginning but I’m growing more fond of it after every display. Give it some time and it can even turn into a classic because there are a lot of those typical Bondian/Roman elements.
Roger Ibañez: Casino Royale. Already a classic even though it’s not that old yet. It’s shiny, fairly new, and a bit rough around the edges but a joy to watch. One of the better ones. There were doubts at first but it surprised a lot of fans. The best part: It can only be better in time.
Matías Viña: You Only Live Twice. One of those more mysterious and dubious movies of the franchise. I don’t know whether to like it or not. I'm still not fully convinced but it can grow on me, or maybe I’m just too demanding.
Chris Smalling: From Russia With Love. It’s got class and style, it’s suave. A finished product from start to end. I’ll never ignore this beauty. Be glad, Chris, there are a lot worse out there.
Leonardo Spinazzola: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Well, you probably already forgot about it, didn’t you? A shame because it’s a damn fine Bond movie. Even though Leo didn’t play a single minute, I would still like to give him this DVD to show he’s still up there with the greatest, although he kinda fell off the radar. The George Lazenby of AS Roma, quoi.
Gianluca Mancini: Goldeneye. A personal favorite of mine. Can’t get enough of it even though it has some (minor) flaws. It does so many things right, I can watch this over and over again. If I give this DVD to you, then surely you’re special to me.
Marash Kumbulla: Spectre. Not Craig’s best outing, and the same goes for Marash. There are a couple of scenes I dig but overall it just doesn’t suffice its price tag. Some tweaks here and there would have turned it into a decent entry. Too bad.
Bryan Reynolds: Die Another Day. Hi Bryan. Yeah, um, well you’re welcome. I didn’t use it anyway. Too much CGI riding on tsunami waves. Have fun with it and see you in about six months?
Riccardo Calafiori: The Living Daylights. Those eyes, that American Psycho look. Riccardo scares the living daylights out of me. And what do you know, that’s also the title of a Bond movie! Both have enormous potential but it took some time before I could acknowledge Timothy Dalton as a good Bond. I reckon Calafiori needs time too, although not 20 years of course.
Henrikh Mkhitaryan: A View to a Kill. Damn, James/Henrikh suddenly got old fast. Perhaps too old for the job although there were some bright spots and good moments. But there’s certainly room for improvement when looking at other productions.
Bryan Cristante: No Time To Die. Well, this will inevitably cause discussion among the fans. Perhaps the most controversial movie/player on this list. I won’t spoil too much but No Time To Die is a vital piece of Daniel Craig’s tenure as agent 007, just like Cristante is an important member of Mourinho’s side.
Gonzalo Villar: Tomorrow Never Dies. The critics said it was nothing special. You won’t find it in any top-five lists. However, I saw some truly spectacular scenes, and it’s quite enjoyable at times. But those moments are few and far between as they can also be frustrating to watch. Only if you’re a REAL fan. And it seems Mourinho doesn’t like Tomorrow that much.
Jordan Veretout: The Spy Who Loved Me. Why? It never disappoints. Perhaps you’ll enjoy other Bond movies even more, but this one is aging damn fine. And it’s peak Bond: gadgets, cars, locations, villains; they are all on point. Just like Jordan who’s coming off a superb 2020-2021 season and is quickly turning into an established value for the team.
Amadou Diawara: The Man Man With The Golden Gun. I have mixed feelings about this one. It’s not the worst of the bunch but also not high-quality in my opinion. It may be a bit dull and not for everyone’s taste. Long time no see, perhaps I’ll give it another go soon. Who knows, maybe it can surprise me once again?
Lorenzo Pellegrini: Skyfall. Masterpiece. One of the best, if not THE best. Silky smooth. A redemption for the franchise and worth a ton of cash. Congratulations Lorenzo, enjoy Javier Bardem’s blond hair and bad teeth.
Nicolo Zaniolo: Quantum Of Solace. Ok, so let me explain. It’s got so much potential. So so much. And it’s a blast when watching it, really. It’s high-octane, full of energy, it never bores. It’s a fun ride but it is also let down by some poor writing and acting. Hey, perhaps some of the producers were, uh, injured at the time? Anyway, relax Nico, it’s not that bad as people say.
Eldo Shomurodov: Octopussy. Talking about a Bond movie which blows hot ‘n cold. Usually, it’s in the bottom half of the rankings mainly because Bond dresses up as a clown in this one. This isn’t exactly sexy or memorable, so people tend to forget more than 70% of the movie is decent enough and Roger Moore does his best. So, yeah, people are too harsh for this part of the franchise.
Tammy Abraham: Licence To Kill. This is a movie that always divided the fans. Either you love it or you hate it. It’s not your typical Bond flick but it will always have a big group of followers and rightfully so. It’s more than decent and eventually, you’ll learn to accept and like it. Let’s hope Tammy gets his license to score soon.
Carles Pérez: Diamonds Are Forever. The odd one in the list. And I get it. It’s tongue in cheek, a bit cartoonish. At least it’s fun to watch. But it’s no classic and will never be.
Borja Mayoral: The World Is Not Enough. I feel it doesn’t get as much love as it deserves. Yeah, it has shortcomings (cough Denise Richards cough) but most of the time it’s just a fun flick. Seldom disappointing. I don’t understand why anyone would throw this away from his collection?
Stephan El Shaarawy: Thunderball. A more well-known title on the list and considered one of the better adventures of our man James. Not without its flaws but no disaster movie as well. A serviceable addition.
Felix Afena-Gyan: Live And Let Die. Just like Roger Moore, Felix rose to fame quite fast. And what a debut for both. Solid beginning, showing a lot of promise in their respective roles. Moore went on to play in a total of seven Bond movies, will Felix follow in his footsteps and have a big Roman career himself?
José Mourinho: Dr. No. Of course, you can’t exclude the one where it all began. The first official EON movie that set the standard for almost 60 years now. José is only one year younger than Dr. No so this was an easy choice. When I look at Dr. No, though, I have the feeling that it lost some of its magic touch. It didn’t age THAT well, especially compared to today’s modern techniques. But hey, long live nostalgia.
That’s it for me, I’m all out of presents. Have a happy New Year and stay safe! Now, where did I put my vodka martini shaken, not stirred?