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What if Serie A Took Place in Westeros?

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Serie A already has Flying Donkeys, Old Ladys and Wizards, so we’re half way there!

Premiere Of HBO's 'Game Of Thrones' Season 7 - After Party Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

With an absolute massive fixture against Napoli coming up on the heels of two weeks of purgatory, otherwise known as the international break, it’s a tense time in the lives of the Roma faithful. Personally, I typically spend the time before a match with title implications such as this one trying to soak up as much information on potential tactics, lineups, and injury reports as I possibly can, and I know I’m not alone in doing so. As much fun as that is to do, we could all probably use a little levity heading into Saturday’s tilt.

Having said that, let’s take a moment from sharpening the proverbial pitchforks we have ready to run Eusebio Di Francesco out of town with, should the match go poorly, and travel to Westeros. For the Game of Thrones fans out there, the great houses of Westeros offer the perfect opportunity to breakdown Serie A from a slightly different perspective.

House Stark – A.S. Roma

Was there ever any question as to who would embody the spirit of the beloved House Stark? Wolf comparisons aside, Roma were home to the Ned Stark of Calcio, our very own Francesco Totti. He was loyal to the end, only to be repaid with a gut-wrenching exit. Not only can Roma boast having the Ned Stark of Calcio, but we also lay claim to its Jon Snow as well. Radja Nainggolan is not Roman by blood, but he has become a favored son for the love he has shown the club. We can only hope that this campaign ends with House Stark taking a much-deserved seat on the Iron Throne.

House Lannister – Juventus

Without a doubt, Juventus is representative of House Lannister from top to bottom. Whether it be the large amount of money dedicated toward the implosion of their rivals (i.e., Higuain and Pjanic), or the hold that they have had on the Iron Throne (*cough cough* Scudetto *cough cough*) for the past 6 years, Juve truly is the bane of all the other houses.

House Targaryen – Napoli

Fire and Blood. With 25 goals scored in the campaign going into Saturday’s clash, Napoli embodies the spirit of House Targaryen more so than any other club. Acting as the Daenerys to Juve’s Cersei, Napoli seems as big a threat as ever to break the wheel and finally take a seat on the Iron Throne. Despite the firepower at Napoli’s disposal, they must seek to avoid the mistakes of House Targaryen, namely overconfidence.

House Greyjoy – Sassuolo

Very much so the Theon Greyjoy to our Robb Stark, the relationship between the two clubs is as fascinating as that of the two houses. Sassuolo has been more or less a farm system for Roma as of late, we send them our prized jewels and they mold them into warriors on our behalf. Only time will tell if Sassuolo turns into Reek and ruins this symbiotic relationship.

House Frey – A.C. Milan

A once proud house that has now succumbed to trickery by way of FFP circumvention, A.C. Milan is the weasel house of Westeros. Their desire to return to former glories has been unsuccessful to this point; with Vincenzo Montella being the likely scapegoat. Of course, this has all been part of the plan for the Arya Stark of Serie A, Carlo Ancelotti.

House Arryn – Inter Milan

There was only one house considered for the Littlefinger of Serie A, Luciano Spalletti. A former ally of House Stark, Luciano betrayed our Ned and left for another Great House. With a solid start to the campaign, can Spalletti reach the last rung of the ladder?

Honorable Mention

Fiorentina as House Tully

Dishonorable Mention

Lazio as The Free Folk